In revisiting Judiciary, Prezzo Ruto must not sound or look helpless

President William Ruto during Jamhuri Day celebrations at Uhuru Gardens, Nairobi, on December 12, 2023. [Stafford Ondego, Standard] I didn't think Prezzo Bill Ruto would "revisit" the Judiciary this soon, having crossed into the New Year with a harangue about some unnamed, ill-tempered folks who were making life difficult for his administration. Now they have a name - or at least their institutional affiliations - as well as their motivations. They reportedly want to both pocket some pieces of silver and derail Prezzo Ruto's development agenda. Hence the question: If an ordinary citizen wanted to derail Prezzo Ruto, where would they find these corrupt judges? And what's the market rate? Have the rates gone up or down, with the depreciation of the shilling? I'm asking for a friend, by the way... That's not to say Prezzo Ruto is as helpless as he sounds. If one were to volunteer any counsel - I know he's got a bunch of advisors, but they seem out of their depths - I would urge him to take a deep breath and relax. And utter the word, "relaaaaax" multiple times. After all, there are 50 million of us; our nation has been running for 60 years, why does he think he's the only one capable of fixing what we couldn't all this while? I recall hearing a rumour that Prezzo Ruto runs the Cabinet single-handedly because he claims all his appointees are incompetent. Now, I'm starting to have my doubts. And can you imagine your boss badmouthing you publicly, yet you religiously return to work each morning, without fail? Politics is such strange business... Alright, we recall judicial independence was one of the virtues of that Prezzo Ruto hailed upon taking charge in late 2022, while signing off some funds that had been withheld by his predecessor. He also okayed promotions that had been on ice even longer. He hailed those at the helm of the Judiciary for their "impartiality and patriotism," when they upheld his election. That's as it should be, of course, because separation of powers demands it. But if Prezzo is determined to disregard this principle, as he promised he would, earlier in the week, by disregarding court orders, perhaps he should consider other time-tested strategies. First off, his rhetoric must get more pointed and violent. I appreciate the swing of the arm and the chopping movements of his hand as he speaks, leaves no doubt that he could get violent. He should rehearse this a little more so that he foams at the mouth in his public addresses. And since some of his predecessors had walking sticks and rungus, he should consider arming himself with a spear. If he brandishes one as he speaks, the dramatic effects will be instantly enhanced. Since Prezzo appears to have some foreknowledge of those corrupt individuals, he could work the system so that those chaps are targeted for what relationship experts call "cold treatment." Phone calls would be placed anonymously, and no word uttered. Just silence. If such calls are repeated at a particular time of the day, usually when one is about to turn in, they'd get chilling and traumatise those targeted. And when the calls don't come, they'd be sick with worry. Or they'd start hallucinating that the calls came through while they were sleeping. Cold treatment is best effected in the run-up to major court rulings. If such tricks don't work, there are other time-tested manoeuvres. They are not entirely legal, but who cares; this is Kenya and Kenya is our business. Attempted abductions or carjackings outside the judges' gates; recalling their loans with government lenders; using bloggers to leak their nudes onlines; etc etc. The thing is, don't get stuck, Mr Prezzo, and please don't sound helpless.

In revisiting Judiciary, Prezzo Ruto must not sound or look helpless

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In revisiting Judiciary, Prezzo Ruto must not sound or look helpless

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