Palaver

Kenyan soldiers must be a bored lot in Kismayu. And having landed to find that their quarry had made a Usain Bolt for the nearest forest, they must be wondering why they came so far only to hear the chaps are busy running around Nairobi and Mombasa with the mistaken notion that civilians are also combatants. Imagine the shock on Brig. Anthony Ngere’s face, the Amison Sector II Commander being confronted, not by technicals, but by mountains of charcoal bags (Where is Kenya Forest Service when you need them?) and there is only one ship. It is packed full of special, anti-Al Shabaab ammunition and cannons. Unfortunately Amisom also requires its patrol services to keep shipping lanes open.

 

Looking through the budget sheets for this year, Palaver finally understood why MPs thought they could get away with a Sh9 million gratuity. They were comfortable that since Finance minister Njeru Githae had already factored Kibaki’s Sh50 million gratuity into the 2012/2013 budget, he would see no evil in a paltry Sh9 million. President Kibaki stands to take with him the highest ever gratuity to be paid in the history of Kenya, at Sh50 million. But the old man had other ideas

    

Remember the promise of our Founding Fathers to fight poverty, dispatch ignorance to the hereafter, and eliminate all disease? Well, presidential contender, Raphael Tuju, no less, reminded us of these when he spoke for the majority. Why drop in from the skies in helicopters for a 20-minute speech, distribute a T-shirt here, and cap there but fail to notice that the audience is unemployed (that’s why the stadium is packed on a working weekday)? Wonder whether the average Kenyan voter still listens to sense when it is a sunny day.

 

Folks, we agreed vandals should be charged as economic saboteurs, then what do you suggest Bosnians do with the scrap metal dealer who stole an entire iron bridge that is 12 metres long and weighs several tonnes, on Wednesday night?

    

And finally...

Anyone know whether Monica Lewinsky has got her $12 million, promised for the new memoir about her life and times with the Clintons? Notice the timing of the book?

 editorial@standardmedia co.ke