Power of birth order

By Evelyne Ogutu

What do Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton, Saddam Hussein, Winston Churchill, Barack Obama and Esther Murugi have in common? They are all firstborns, leaders and achievers in their own right.

It has been said that firstborns are born leaders, charismatic, bossy, adult pleasers and responsible while lastborns are risk takers, creative, self-centred and love to be pampered. However, personality is influenced by variables such as temperament, gender and other family circumstances.

Murugi, MP Nyeri Town and Minister for Gender and Children Affairs, believes birth order affects one’s personality and shapes how one behaves.

A firstborn girl (back centre) is protective over her siblings. Oldest children frequently act like surrogate parents. Photos: Martin Mukangu And File/Standard

Fredrick Wanjohi, an IT manager in Nairobi, says his birth order dictates the way he behaves.

The fifth born in a family of eight children says he has been a risk taker in all he does. He recalls venturing into business in Mombasa as a fresh graduate although his parents were against it.

"That was my first time in Mombasa but I dared the odds and I don’t regret it. I learnt a lot," he says.

The father of three says he has ventured into various businesses ranging from teaching and driving a matatu to IT.

Wanjohi says he can see typical birth order traits in his children.

"My firstborn, who is in Standard Eight, is much more mature than the second born. When my wife and I are not at home, my daughter does everything," he adds.

Independent

Another middle child, Virginia Magondu, the CEO of Kenya Orient Insurance Limited, who describes herself as independent, says her birth order may or may not have contributed to her character.

The single mother of two, a daughter and son, says despite losing her mother when she was only 12, the loss did not deter her from achieving her dream of joining university.

"I sailed through primary school. I disliked conflicts and was there to solve disputes," recalls the 46-year-old.

Alfred Adler, a well-known psychiatrist who also studied birth order and how it affects who you are, says the first child tends to be analytical, detailed and one who values control. He or she sets the example for younger children and are used to being ‘number one’.

On the second born children, Adler’s theory suggests that they are often in competition with the oldest child. While the middle children tend to be the family diplomats. They dislike conflicts and seek fairness and justice. They are ‘people pleasers’.

The youngest children are usually excitement seekers who crave attention so they won’t be ‘left behind’ in family activities and the atmosphere as a whole.

Jackson Mbatha, 45, who is the lastborn of five siblings, says birth order has shaped him.

"I am mama’s boy unlike my other siblings who are independent. I always seek my mother’s approval in almost everything I do and this has sometimes affected my marriage," says Mbatha.

Set high goals

Unlike the lastborns, notes counsellor Wangui wa Mwangi, only children never have to compete and share within the family. They are lonely, usually set high goals for themselves and keep a polite distance from others.

However, Mwangi cautions the effects of birth order on one’s character, profession or behaviour should not be taken too seriously.

She says several factors influence the children’s behaviour for instance, the age differences of the children, disabilities and gender.

"As we look for reasons why our children behave in a certain way, we should not blame it on their birth order only. It can only be used as a guiding tool to parenting," she concludes.