Expecting women to only be men's cheerleaders leads to abuse, violence

A few years ago when I was still a teenager I recounted to an older woman the things I wanted to do with my life before I got married. I was roughly 17 at the time and I remember saying that I wanted to have a car, to travel the world and to have a degree before I eventually settled into the family life of having a husband and potentially children.

It was a nice dream in my head but this woman said I would never find a husband if I scaled up to those heights before I found a husband. It was a very strange thing to hear at the time. I didn't understand what it was about having a car or traveling that would diminish someone's worth as a woman. Everyone around me, boys and girls alike, wanted the same big things. I didn't imagine there was anything extraordinary about the things I wanted.