When we were growing up, our parents called us endearing names that left us feeling like princesses of unknown kingdoms.
If we were not referred to as Baby or Princess then they probably used names like Angel that left us feeling like we were some pristine, flawless beings that were a credit to humanity.
Of course, in the eyes of our parents, we may have been the most beautiful beings, only that we took this joke too far.
The fairy tales we read did not make matters any better – the protagonists are always beautiful princesses of flawless character, who somehow, always end up getting swept off their feet by handsome princes.
In this perfect world, they ride on horseback to castles where they rule forever and live infinitely in pure bliss. Were there truly a magical mirror on the wall, snow white would not have held the title for an entire month.
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Had our beauties been absolute and the only measure in choosing a partner then King Mswati would never have married a second wife let alone the 60th one.
We love beautiful lies and flattery has become a sweetener for our vanity. You see, when a man loves a woman, it does not mean that she is the most beautiful woman alive.
I am intentionally leaving men out of this because they have since accepted that we settle for them for numerous other reasons that have nothing to do with their looks.
But apparently, there are those of us who believe they should be the most beautiful things in the eyes of their lovers. That their men should never complement any other women because they already have a trophy woman at home.
I am sorry to burst your bubble but this is far from the truth.
You see, chances are you may not have been the most beautiful girl in his eyes even on the very day he chose you! But when we choose people to be with, we go for more than just looks.
No one wants coconut heads raising their children so, of course, they will go for someone with brains to complement the beauty.
Every day, women create a list of what their ideal men should be like. The list contains trivial things like ‘should know how to squeeze the toothpaste and clean after himself’. Why then do we want to lie to ourselves that the men in our lives settled for us because we were princesses?
You were probably the one who came close to what he wanted, there could have been another more beautiful than you, but he chose you because kindness and a voluptuous body ranked higher than a pretty face on his list. Do not, therefore, turn green with envy when your man tells another woman that she is beautiful. It does not mean he wants to elope with her.
You are probably still an embodiment of what he wants in a woman despite the physical changes your body may have gone through. Do not sulk when he turns around to look at other women.
Relationships should never be small prisons where our partners wall us in and stop us from admiring the beautiful creations all around us. Turning to look at other humans is also a good exercise for the neck.