Coping with my Internet blues,more to see and learn

I am a pessimist Kenyan. I am past the age of innocence having lived through 4 presidents, 1 prime minster, 10s of false prophets and 100s of con artists.

But one continues to learn new stuff about themselves especially in regard to my uniquely Kenyan peculiarities.

In my quest to be a better citizen and a tolerant fellow, I have decided to address an area in my life that was a cause of much distress. Internet Service Providers. ISPs.

Let me explain. I deal fairly well with power outages and show amazing restraint upon sudden encounters with potholes on our highways. I am accustomed to these two homegrown features of urban living.

No internet connection

Electricity blackouts should be a thing of the past especially when it rains but I am realist who bears in mind the slogan “water for all by the year 2000”.

A daytime blackout is an opportunity to take time off work and appreciate the little things around us.

I can deal with poor cell network signal, dropped calls and frequent unsolicited promotional text messages from the telephone service provider.

I exercise the benefit of doubt, take the trouble to read them before I promptly press delete. The thing that crawls under my skin is the message, “No internet connection”.

In my line of work, where deadlines hover about like tormented spirits, the Internet is a lifeline. It disappears and panics checks in.

One has to make the agonizing call to the customer care line. If they answer, you find yourself talking to an answering machine that puts you on hold, progressively raising your blood pressure and clouding your mood.

Eventually, after three tries an assistant comes on, speaking in the most polite manner which only makes it more annoying.

They will run you through a list of bloody obvious basic interventions, all of which you would have attempted with unsuccessful results.

System failure

Then they end the distress call with the assurance that their technicians will look into it. You decide to escalate the issue by ranting on Facebook and Twitter because corporates hate negative publicity on social media.

Someone important quickly responds asking for the specific details of your problem.

You explain your frustration for the nth time to the nth assistant who politely apologises for the inconvenience before announcing a system failure, but not to worry. “Our technicians are looking into it”.

 In the meantime, be calm. There is life outside the Internet.

Read more from this writer at : www.oyungapala.com

Twitter: @realoyungapala