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The things we have to endure during the World Cup are just amazing.
Some of us have had to sacrifice the warmth of our beds to catch every minute of action on the pitch, even if it means staying glued in front of the TV for hours as matches go to extra time and finally penalty shootouts.
Then there are those who are up in arms because the beautiful game has taken over their Telenovela spots.
Well, the curtain will fall on the soccer extravaganza on Sunday, July 13.
In the meantime, here’s what’s been happening in the name of Bola Brazil 2014.
1. Time for mpango wa kando
A story is told of a man who was totally clueless about the World Cup. He comes home ‘disappointed’ that England couldn’t beat South Africa.
Poor guy should have done his homework and realise that South Africa did not qualify for Brazil 2014. Next time you want to use football as an excuse for your sexacapades, at least make the effort to familiarise with the teams and the games.
2. Sleepy heads
The last three weeks have been hell in some offices, from employees coming late to outright absenteeism. The tournament is taking a toll on productivity. Consider the case of one guy who took a sick off only to be spotted jumping and shouting at K1 Club House.
3. Hangover III
With matches being played at night local time, it’s hard to resist the temptation of having a drink as you enjoy the games. The result has been perpetual hangovers for those who overdrink. It has been a truly headthrobbing month!
4. Online on fire
Social media is aflame. Everybody seems to have logged on to Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp to discuss the World Cup finals.
5. Soccer blondes
Most women are not exactly experts when it comes to football. Men have to suffer the distraction of explaining the difference between a corner and penalty, make the fair sex understand that a free kick is not a goalmouth melee, a corner flag has nothing to do with the nationality of teams on the pitch, and why Gareth Bale didn’t go to Brazil. And no, players can’t use their hands on the pitch!
6. The sleepover
Well, there have been a lot of sleepovers, haven’t there? The World Cup gives the perfect excuse to linger and spend at the beau’s after a late night game.
7. Notorious jiranis
I sympathise with those who have had to put up with jiranis who turn their houses into bars with villagers shouting at the top of their voices whenever ‘their’ teams score.
8. Big gamble
What’s football without a wager? People have lost money this past month as the big guns they bet on got bundled out of the tournament. Good luck to those still trying to get their cash from sore losers who have refused to pay!
9. Pointless analyses
With World Cup comes all manner of football ‘experts’. Just turn on your telly for interesting insights like “I think Belgium are going to try” or “Argentina are going to have a substitution in the second half!”
10. Late night guests
Some of us have been forced to be hospitable. What can you do when a guest turns up for a match and ends up watching all the games of the day, pretending to be oblivious of your tired nods as the clock ticks closer to 3am.
