What low self-esteem does to your love life

Self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of their own self-worth. It is about perception of oneself as well as an attitude toward themselves.

A healthy self-esteem has positive effects, despite any challenges, one is able to navigate their path of life with a level of positive energy.

On the other hand, low self-esteem has negative effects. When you have low self esteem, you will have a poor self-image and will feel unworthy, incapable and incompetent.

Individuals with low self-esteem often describe themselves as inadequate. They have a poor attitude and lack confidence.

When you have low self esteem, you may blame yourself for any difficulties or failures you experience. If you ignore these feelings, it can lead to stress, isolation, anorexia, obesity, depression and in some serious cases suicide.

From early childhood, individuals begin to form belief patterns about themselves. How care givers and significant others, particularly parents, family, peers and mentors treat children makes all the difference.

People whose parents were abusive tend to suffer poor self-worth and low self-esteem. Joyce, has been struggling with her self-worth and esteem for many years and is finally determined to work towards regaining confidence and a healthy self-esteem.

Her step-father was extremely abusive and used abusive language, taking every opportunity to put her down. Many years later, she is extremely emotional as she recalls her experience. My step father was mean to me and often nasty.

“You shall amount to nothing, who would ever want to befriend you anyway?”, “Look at yourself in the mirror and see how ugly you are”, “Why bother going to school, all you can become is a maid!”

Like Joyce, many young individuals self-esteem is crushed in their formative years and they seek ways to compensate this as they live their lives. Building a teen and young adult’s self-esteem is extremely important. During their formative years, they experience a lot of changes, particularly their identity and body image.

If a healthy self-esteem and confidence is not built at this time, they carry the low esteem, poor body image and low confidence into their relationships where they seek affirmation, affection, approval and appreciation. It is not uncommon for young people to look for affirmation from the opposite sex. Many times, they end up in bad relationships.

Generally, causes of poor self-esteem are as a result of failing to meet the standards of significant others and particularly parents and guardians - like growing up in a dysfunctional family where affection and love was not expressed.

If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative as well which have a negative impact not only in your youthful years but along your journey of life.

Negative self-beliefs are occasionally caused by experiences later in life, such as peer pressure, bullying and intimidation, abusive relationships including spouses, dysfunctional relationships and traumatic experience.

Negative beliefs about the self are prejudices, beliefs that don’t always take account of the facts but rely on biased evidence for their support.

It is possible to regain the lost self-esteem. Here are some helpful tips:

1. Exercise positive self-talk

2. Learn the secret of contentment and don’t compare yourself to others

3. Exercise regularly and pamper yourself occasionally

4. Are you a perfectionist? Relax, life is not always about perfection

5. Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes, don’t be too hard

6. If you cannot change it, accept it

7. Purpose to enjoy life and do things that you enjoy

8. Celebrate milestones all the way

9. Pray, meditate and trust God, for He has a good plan for your life

10. Surround yourself with supportive people