India's 'love commandos' save couples from arranged marriages

 Photo: Courtesy

Marrying for love is still taboo in many parts of India, especially outside the boundaries of caste or religion. But there are people who do sympathize with young couples, like the Love Commandos, a four-man activist organisation based in the nation’s capital, New Delhi. The Guardian reports, their mission is to help couples elope and start a new life together, safely away from the wrath of their families.

They encourage lovers to reach out to them via a telephone helpline, or their website, for any kind of assistance – including accommodation in safe rooms and shelters across India. They’ve even sent out rescue teams to protect newly-weds running away from enraged relatives.

The group boasts of having helped over 40,000 couples in nearly six years of existence. But they couldn’t have done it without the help of hundreds of volunteers and priests who agreed to organise and perform the clandestine marriage ceremonies and getaways.

The group was founded on the belief that falling in love is not a sin, which contradicts the beliefs of many Indians.

“We do not agree that this arranged marriage is tradition,” said Sanjoy Sachdev, one of the group’s founders. “Making an arrangement that means forcing marriage upon one. And forced marriage is an international crime. If an 18-year-old boy can choose the prime minister of the country, why can’t he choose his life partner?” So the Commandos ensure that the couples receive counselling during their stay at the shelter. If they want to get married and are of legal age, then a ceremony is arranged right away.

With each phone call answered and every couple helped, the Love Commandos are increasingly putting their lives at risk.

Inter-caste wedding

Although they aren’t doing anything illegal, arranging a wedding without parental consent is considered a serious affront to a family’s honour, often leaving the relatives of the couple thirsty for revenge. “Many want to kill us,” Sachdev explained.

“The cast councils and clan councils have put huge bounties on our heads.” The couples aren’t safe either – they’re at constant danger of being killed by their own families for daring to go against tradition.

“Because of caste, religious, economic, or social status issues, many times parents still oppose their children’s relationship,” Sachdev said.

“A lot of young people try to convince their parents to accept their marriages, but that often ends with girls having their education stopped and being illegally detained. It can even end with honour killings.” That’s what happened to 21-year-old Bhawna Yadav – her parents and uncle are believed to have murdered her and disposed of her body after she eloped with a man from a different caste.

The Love Commandos want to put an end to this barbaric practice. The threats haven’t dissuaded them from continuing their work as they believe that Indian society has reached a tipping point where the youth are no longer willing to live by archaic dogmas.

“India is sitting on a volcano,” Sachdev said. “The youth has lost faith in the system.”

New Delhi couple Manouj and Kavita, for instance, were in grave danger after they ran away from home to be with each other. “My family does not approve inter-caste weddings,” said Manouj, 22. “They said that if I go ahead they would kill me.” 19-year-old Kavita’s family “hit and scolded” her when she revealed her intention to marry Manouj. Then they got her engaged to a “suitable” groom of their choice. The college sweethearts had no choice but to leave home and turn to the Love Commandos for help.

“To save this country, it is important to save love, lovers, and love relationships,” Sachdev said.