So your man cheated? Love him more!

 A cheating husband Photo: Courtesy

When stories emerged that her husband, then president of the most powerful country was having an affair with a twenty-two-year old White House intern, Hillary Clinton chose a path very few women would walk; she stood by her husband.

Seventeen years later, that decision is one of the key factors shaping her presidential candidacy. I mean, the America we know would not want a divorcee for a president.

Intolerance and lack of commitment is one of the major problems that have lately been ailing the institution of marriage. Emancipation brought about by education and modernity has bred women (and unfortunately they are the main reason marriage seems to be tottering) who are egocentric. But they do not comprehend that it takes a virtuous woman for a union to succeed, a woman who will defend her family no matter what. Isn’t that what the Bible commands to do?

In my community, we have a saying that, “A good woman covers her family’s nakedness.” This simply means that she does not expose the flaws of her family or denounce them at their moment of weakness.

A sex tape was recently the talk of the nation. The man involved, a popular figure in the entertainment industry, has never shied from flaunting his adorable family.

One cannot be oblivious of the pain the whole saga must have caused his family, especially the wife. Other men would have apologized in the confines of their homes so as not to appear weak. However, the said person issued a public apology to all and sundry, including his family. But that is not the point.

To the wife and all women who might have gone or are yet to go through a similar circumstance, take your time before you pack your bags.

Is your man’s moment of weakness worth ending the relationship or marriage you have worked so hard to build? He chose you amongst many, ‘wifed,’ you and is probably the father of your kids. Weigh your options and consider the pros against the cons.

I am not in any way advocating that women should tolerate abusive men. However, we have had women walking out on marriages citing irreconcilable difference so very flimsy and trivial issues like the husband snoring too much or that another woman answered his call.

Those couples who vaunt 20 or more years of marriage have not had it all on a bed of roses. There have been a lot of mistakes, heartaches, tears and above all, genuine forgiveness and a willingness to stay married.

The women of yesteryear stayed married because they understood that for a marriage to work, they must act blind, while the men knew that they had to act deaf.

The men sired children out of wedlock, yet the women brought them up like their own. They accepted co-wives and in some instances, even became sole bread winners, but they still stood by their men who at times had nothing to offer besides promises.

They accepted their men despite their flaws. But today, most women would abandon their homes if their husbands lose their jobs and the responsibility of settling the bills is transferred to them. To err is human.

Even good people sometimes succumb to temptation. Such occurrences are inevitable in life. How we deal with them, especially as wives and mothers, is the ultimate challenge.

Borrow a leaf from Hillary Clinton, she supported her husband and today he is her number one supporter in her race for the White House.

Learn to stand with your man.