Sex and the nation

Some weeks ago, Binyavanga Wainaina was a trending topic on Twitter, thanks to his choice of dress. People thought that it was more appropriate on a woman, and not a man, no matter his sexual orientation.

The photo of Binyavanga, which he posted online himself, in a frock, reminded many of Caitlyn Jenner, a women who just a few months ago was known as Bruce Jenner, and went about life as a man.

Binyavanga’s sartorial mismatch attracted varied comments from Netizens, and one user noted that “he looks like a character who plays mother in a boys’ secondary school play.”

Even though Binyavanga made his sexual orientation public, the idea of a man dressed as a woman, still did not go down well with many Kenyans, and the fact that he posed with another man, also dressed as a woman, did not help matters.

Then there has been the issue of the violent Nyeri women — I do not believe in the blanket condemnation of a group. Seemingly, men in Nyeri have become like those of Nokanyana village in Lauri Kabuistile’s In the Spirit of Mcphineas Lata.

None of them is able to “trouble” these women the way the main character of this story, McPhineas Lata, did, owing to their marriage to kumi kumi and other cheap, illicit brews.

Unlike women of Nokanyana village who sought the “troubling” services of McPhineas, the ones from Nyeri have resorted to anything that can chop off — in the words of Ndiritu Njoka, the Maendeleo ya Wanaume chair — transformers that cannot trouble them!

EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE

Before the issue of the Nyeri women could clearly be understood, a story from the Coast hit the airwaves, and in this case, some young men were doing the opposite.

One television station reported that they are renting out their wives to foreigners, mostly Caucasians!

A man who identified himself only as Abbas narrated how a White man had asked if he could get him an African woman

Abbas hatched a plot with his wife to fleece the foreigner. His wife agreed to be African woman the foreigner wanted, and even accepted a marriage proposal.

“We agreed that she would marry him, relocate to Europe, and help me find an old mzungu woman, to marry,” he explained. “Then I would also relocate to Europe and when we both became citizens, we would divorce the wazungu and come back together as husband and wife.”

For his troubles, Abbas received a payment of three hundred and twenty dollars.

Such a despicable, pathetic plan, I would say.

Unfortunately, Abbas’s wife relocated to Europe with the mzungu and forgot about the plan they hatched with the husband.

Nowadays, she sends her unfortunate partner in crime a seasonal dollar or euro. We must pause and ponder.

Our social subtext does not read as well as we pretend or think it should.

Not long ago, many people were up in arms, agitating for the withdrawal of Chinua Achebe’s A Man of the People from the schools where it was a set book.

They argued that it was promoting sex education.

Witi Ihimaera’s Whale Rider got a harsh reception when it was approved as a set book. The puritans argued that it had nuances of homosexuality.

Yet, still, something is wrong somewhere.

The idea of working with, or renting wives, to fleece supposedly rich wazungu reminded me of Nurrudin Farah’s story, The Start of an Affair which is about James McPherson, a gay mzungu and Ahmed Ali Mooryan, a Somali migrant in South Africa.

Ahmed’s articulation reminds James McPherson, of the accent of his dead wife: “Her English was overlaid with Portuguese, which she never lost to her dying day, just as Ahmed’s English is plastered with Somali inflections, a feature that seems quaint to James, terribly charming and sexy.”

At the same time, Ahmed reminds McPherson of another Somali boy who McPherson had been interested in but never had.

McPherson is cautious as he woos Ahmed.

What he does not know is that Ahmed had all along used his body to gain favour, in prison, airports, and in McPherson’s restaurant — where the manager had lied to him that he (the manager) is the owner.

On seeing that McPherson is wealthy, he was willing to do everything just to get his wealth.

When you read this story, you will be left wondering if Kenyans are not just burying their heads in the sand.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE

Farah is a renowned writer of Somali origin who should know better than write about or even appear to advocate for homosexuality.

As Diriye Osman, an award-winning gay Briton of Somali origin says, exhibiting difference in sexual preference in the Arab world or Muslim world is enough to get one ostracised, attract violence and sometimes death.

By writing The Start of an Affair, Farah is acknowledging the presence of gay people in his community — and even though they preach chastity and “good” morals, something needs their attention.

Unlike Farah, Kenyans, pretend all is well. Our reaction to gay people is one of shock, yet we know they exist.

We are against sex education in schools and I am not surprised that Kenyan writers are not tackling this theme because very few people would entertain them or read their books, yet they should.

Maybe, as Nneka, in Light, says, “we will only talk about sex to our children until when we think someone else will mislead them; were they to talk to them about it, or think of taking them through the practical aspects of the deed.”

So, what led Ahmed, in Farah’s The Start of an Affair, to be what he was?

What has led the young people at the Kenyan coast to rent out their wives and why are the wives willing accomplices?

One would immediately think of poverty.

This I dispute.

I once heard a Kenyan sex worker — during an interview on a satellite TV channel — admit that she comes from a well-off family, and from her argument, she came across as well-educated and smart.

She also confessed to having had a good grounding in church matters.

Ahmed on the other hand is a son of a Somali warlord who owns houses in Nairobi and in the Emirates — not poor at all.

For our coastal brothers, have we not seen the poorest of the poor defending their spouses even to death?

My hypothesis is that we must rediscover ourselves in order to confront the challenges that we face.

Wishing away things will not help our cause and neither will hurling insults at Binyavanga and his dress.

Actually, by talking about him, we are drawing others’ attention to his beliefs, and they might just get interested in his ways and decide to try them out!

Certainly, there is a serious social problem here and we should retrace our steps so as to find a solution.