Uhuru facing Mount Kenya in new political misadventure

Peter KimaniThe last time a political grouping gathered near Mount Kenya, it was a bunch of ruffians draped in shukas, daggers dangling dangerously on their thin waists, as they swayed to mwomboko rhythms, sharing condiments and snuff.They were the Mungiki, and they said they were there in search of God. Such line of defence, they knew, was politically correct since we have freedom of worship, although not many believed them.Now I hear most are members of some churches, which means their initial mission up the mount was well-intentioned.I hear another delegation is headed to a place near the mountain, and their mission is equally serious. They might not be looking for God; they must know where he lives already. They say they want to rally the Gikuyu behind Uhuru Kenyatta, come 2012 General Election, and what a better place to start their campaign than the community’s dispersal point. The place is quite a mouthful: Mukurwe wa Nyagathanga.Reading DraftsI wonder if Uhuru read his father’s book, Facing Mount Kenya, the one some detractors claimed was authored by some Russian called Malinowski, or something close to that, although we know only Jomo could have lived facing Mount Kenya.The prospects of Uhuru reading, or re-reading the text might not be very enticing particularly coming so soon after the referendum. Like most Kenyans, he must be tired of reading drafts of the Proposed Constitution, including the one doctored in the dead of night by some blokes at Government Press.Still, the image of Uhuru as lawmaker is pretty appealing particularly if Uhuru decides to climb the mountain to, hopefully, descend under clouds of smoke or smog clutching Kenya’s New Laws.But Moses is the last known man to have came down a mountain, and he crashed the law tablets in anger, after finding the minions strayed from God’s ways during his brief communion.That view sounds too lofty for Uhuru, whose singular dream was only to be someone’s project a few years ago.Holy GroundAnd since the mountain is associated with worship, Uhuru might have to wander around and wait for the signal, as Moses did, warning: The ground on which you stand is holy, proceed and remove your shoes...Still, a trip up the mount is quite attractive, particularly if the secret voice is going to urge Uhuru to climb to the apex without any aides, and deliver a sheep without a blemish for sacrifice.What Uhuru might need to know, whether he chooses to stand at the foot of Mount Kenya or shout from its rooftop, is that the sanctity of Mount Kenya been eroded, as manifest in its declining glaciers.And a new generation bearing votes neither defers to its sanctified height, nor succumb to reductionist identities that limit them to lineage, clan or class.&#12288;Some home truths for Aunty Zeituni ObamaThe truth, as they say, is out there. Our beloved Aunty Zeituni, whose nephew is the US President, apparently loves America so much, she was willing to sell her mother to live there.And she delivered the most flattering remarks about her country to convince a judge to quash her deportation, which has been standing for six years, to allow her stay on.Zeituni claimed upon her arrival at the airport, she risked being whisked off to the Karura Forest, or the nearest wooded patch, where she would be subjected to a plethora of torture stunts.Reason, she says she is from a community that has been singled out for persecution by State agents, and probably merits investigation by the International Criminal Courts.Further, Zeituni told the judge that her Obama lineage would expose her to such grave risks because some men in Nairobi do not approve of Obama politics, so naturally would vent their frustrations on his weakest kin.I don’t know if the US judge sought to corroborate the information from the defendant from, say, its representative in Nairobi, Michael Ranneberger, who frequently visits Kogelo where the Obamas appear hale and safe.Did I read somewhere Mama Sarah even has armed guards, and a police post within the compound?Perhaps Zeituni does not aspire to live in such safe enclaves.AP simply means action-packedExit Chuck Norris, enter Administration Police. They step out in their usual khaki uniform, sleeves rolled in the right places, berets tilted at some angle.They arrive in the gathering dusk and present and park their vehicles at a respectable distance. The 15 men who steal into the premises are not in uniform; that would be an obvious give-away, but their loaded revolvers are stashed in their pockets.They request to see a certain individual, who happens to be their colleague, too. The moment they catch a glimpse of him, they cock their guns, ready to shoot. By this time, their uniformed colleagues, who have even bigger guns, join in. Together, they make their exit, with the swagger of male chimps.This is not a dramatised version of some action-packed film, but a recording of the events at Kileleshwa Police, where Administration Police rescued a colleague from lawful custody this week.The APs do not consider regular police competent enough, and vice versa. What happened in Kileleshwa has been played out in so many other places, their rivalry is considered healthy peer review. Where will this drama end, and how?

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