20 years of rock, metal n roll

By Smitta

I luv rock n roll, put ann’a dime in the jux-box, baybee,

I luv’d rock n roll, come a while n dance with me…"

This past weekend was "Battle of the Bands" at Ka-choi on Baricho Road, n other than the World Cup, that was the plot for the wk-end, 4get blankos n wines, n other soft shizzle plonyos dat were plonking dem-selves all o’er Sato n Sunday.

But come Sato, as we watched the Germanz give Argentina (n bearded Maradona, n ineffective Messi) the hiding of a lifetime, after Taidyz, was at a pub near Akinyi – Chinedu’s (deep West). After I left, I tumbled down a flight of stairs but broke da fall – with my right knee!!

To literally add insult to injury, the CEO (who I think was sumwhere in K1) hollered, no doubt to brag about his German machine. I SMS-ed back: "Nasikitika, mteja was nambari uliopiga, hapatikani kwa sasa." Heh heh.

But com Sunday, I literally coont git up— dat’s how bad me knee was injured. N like Torres has been at da World Cup, so waz I 2 be mteja at the Battle o Bandz. As I sat wit ice n rag o’er my knee in de hao, feelin’ a ki-waru dat I coont be at rock show-down at Choices, it hit me dat its been twenny years since I fell in luv wit ‘rock n roll,’ n that that is a tale wall worth telling.

So, here goes: 1991 —Twas the July of ’91, I knw coz I waz ‘swotting’ (as we used ta call it way then) for som 2nd Term yuck-zams, I was juzz entering "adole" (as we used ta call it way then).

"Enter Sandman" by Metallica came on in KTN (there was an evening rock show, way then), and I was smitten.Luv at first sound, by tha metal beatz – n mesmerized by weird video!

1992 —Young early teen rebellion waz in tha air. We’d juzz starTed wanting to skyve for the rare rave. N watt better wimbo captured this spirit than The Cure’s "I don care if Monday’s blue, Tuesdays gray n Wednesdayz too; Thursdays I don’t care about yu, but Friday, I’m in love…" N ever since 1992, we been in luv wit Furahidays, like leo.

1993 — The Age of the Rebel was now on, dark hormones mugging me teenage frame. And there was Steve Tyler of "AEROSMITH" cranking out cwazy songs about "Living on the Edge." Me ole lady had bought me a CD-system as study reward, but shore din’t appreciate us yellin’ along to Tyler: "If Chicken Licken toldcha the sky was fallin,’ wouldn’t yu come home running (thn floor crawlin’), again and again and again…"

1994 — An apocalyptikal year. Da ole lady demised, n we took comfort in tha angst-ridden tunes of grunge-rockers like Sound Garden who screamed 4 "Black-HoLe Suns" to come n "take away this pain" by just ending the whole goddamn world. Fareed, X-fm, yo, play it today!

In 1995, with da grief entering da "period of acceptance" (darn psycho-babble bee-ess), I found solace in an OASIS, esp the wimbo "Don’t Look Back in Anger." Great lyrics too – "So I start a revolution from my bed, cos she sed the brains I have went to my head." (Mr. Jack Mooriuki, they din’t)! With Oasis (who Messi luvs) n vodoski, even Messi can survive da mess.

1996 — After angst n acceptance, comes anger. N who else could sing red-hot rage like the alternative rocker Alanis Morrisstte did? Nah-body, dat who. These were the bad, sad or mad years, wen we waz now legal 4 the rave – n would go to PSYS wit me GF, Caro M, n as she tore up the floor, I’d rip off me shirt – n we’d only leave the door at dawn.

1997 – and the new band on the scene were the cool rockers, "Third Eye Blind." N their message waz totally on-point too.

"I want sumthing else," they crooned. " To get me thru this, semi-charmed kinda life, baybe." Yeah. In da border-lands tween eighteen n twenny one, that ‘something else’ would be cheddar. N a lil respect?

1998 — and 4 wattever reason (maybe been ‘susped’ 4rm colle 4 a year barely a year in, tee-hee), we waz melancholic. Me sis, Carole, was hooked to SUEDE then – n, gosh, they were sweet. Their wistful rock zizki suited me mood perfectly as they sang songs abt bitter-sweetness like: "Whatever makes her happy, on a Saturday nite, whatever makes it alright…"

Party like its 1999, and for those who were too olde, or too young, to remember millennium, watt a bash yu missed! Yez, Kanu was on tottering mguus n Nai waz a mess of muggers n uncollected garbage – but no-one in they early tweenies cared Yu just listened to the Goo-goo dolls, n the Foo-foo Fighters, n ignored the pooh!

2000 — Rock at Psyz died, Carni Wednezdayz started happening, rock was ALL the rage. My sis got an Austrian teenie, Wolf Zimmerman, he was into the ‘Red Hot Chili Peppers.’ Sadly, a TawfiQ bus in da easter of two thao killed him, n seventy-one other passengers. I still can’t listen to "Scar Tissue" w/out thinkin’ of cool Wolf, from all them years ago.

2001 — and the guyz of "3 Doors Down" blew down the door that leads to rock n roll. Kryptonite was a monster-hite with its message, "If I go crazy, will you still call me Superman? If I’m alive un-well, will you still be there, holdin’ my hand?" Oh well, rockers fear these things, n in this order – madness, illness, farewell (death), n hell… Judas Priest sed it best though. "Hell, ain’t such a baaad place, hell is from here to insanity!"

2002 — twelve years after da Smitts, newly minted Kenyan rockers were going nuts o’er Linkin Park’s "In The End." As we sipped our diesel in Carni, n DJ Ben spun the machine, we the real rockers (not fakes like pal Mike Owuor) knew Creed’s "My Sacrifice," was da real deal.

2003 — n Kenyans were tha most euphoric nuccas on planet earth. NARC-a waz in power, I’d just met HOT ROD owner n rocker, Mike Slaughter, and mad laughter was everywhere. Serj Tankian n his "System of a Down" band were intoxicating with their audio-Toxicity.

From 2004, and for tha next three years, me n da likes of Rock Dog n Dr. Snoop-ski were to live in Choi, Sundays, moshing to the sounds of kina deejay Jack, as Maina Kageni kunywad "Jack Daniels" and us, voo-doo. Linkin Park had packed our vichwas with theya loud, vio-let songs like "NUMB," n I happily screamed to dark tunes like ‘Crawling.’

In 2005, Ka-Monski n Wahu got hitched same day me n my then kitten waz breakin.’ Twaz September, if I remember, n so the song Wake Me Up, When September Ends (Green Day) took on a whole world of meaning. Later still, it kumbush’d me of me late ole man.

By ’06, had hooked up wit da Sharonova, n although the moyo- vunjix was over, me preferred rock had taken a turn for the darker. Y’know watt they say-" once yu go blacker," haha. Anywayz, there cannot possibly be a darker hit than Welcome 2 the Black Parade. N if yu think My Chemical Romance is dat nite yu were chips fungwad after BO, ya ain’t no rocker.

’07 was ne’er gonna be heaven, not in ‘Kinya,’ not wit a general erexion goan on. By tha end of Deck, with hay goin’ to the wire (wattever happened to dat Hague storo??), n me kid-bro in horse-ptal, there waz only one rock wimbo dat cud capture da mayhem. Dat d be Shadows of the Day by those total rockers, LINKIN PARK.

2008— Ka-Choi Sundae rock had kuff’d 4 me, but out of the ashes, like Phoenix Theatre (sasa George M Shinde?) – a new underground, and LOCAL rock band scene reared its LOUD head. Guyz like "Last Year’s Tragedy." Oh, n "Cold Play" finally won me over wit "Viva la Vida," which also happens to be Lady G-Avril’s fave song. (N, lass, tha torn stockings? I luuuvu ‘em)!