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In a world that is dominated by appearances, one of the most outstanding truths is that the prettier and slimmer you are, the easier life is for you. However, how do you gauge what is beautiful and what is not? When did we sit down and decide that a woman with no acne was more deserving than a woman with a bit of freckles? When was it decided that a smaller number on the weighing scale automatically translated to beauty? Why it is that now society is finally 'making space and accepting the BBW?' When was it decided that big was bad? Why was it ever wrong to be beautiful in thick skin?
Society says, "Be yourself but no, not like that". Walk like this so that they say you are confident, talk like this so that they know you are 'updated', eat like this so that you don't become like one of those big girls, dress like this so that they see you know fashion and live like this because there is nothing wrong with being yourself but there is everything wrong with you being yourself like that. Change this, people will not like you. Dress like this, you don't want them to think you are a whore, or “wewe ni mshamba”.
She talks too much; oh she must be a blabbermouth. I saw Esther with John yesterday, she is just too cheap. She doesn't talk much, what a snob. She doesn't talk to boys, she will die alone. She was at the club yesterday, she has no dignity. I saw him at church today, what a hypocrite. Did you see her new phone? Yeah, it was definitely from her sponsor boyfriend.
The sad part of this story is not the terms and conditions society demands us to live under but the fact that some people are so compelled by them, they will do anything to feel accepted and wanted and normal. They will go to great lengths to hear people say, 'You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are loved...” We have let our minds get so entangled in this web of 'normalcy' that we would rather change everything about ourselves just to be 'part of the pack.'
The expectations of society are messed up. What is more messed up however is the fact that as beautiful and as worthy as we are, we have let ourselves get confined in them and we miss out on so much trying to be 'acceptable.'
It's okay to be different. It's okay to be the round peg in the square hole. Go and love yourself.
