This is why my boyfriend advised me not to wait until 35 to get a child

NAIROBI: ‘Don’t wait age 35 to get a child. Time is now’ says Paul to Miriam, she looks at him with lots of questions,animated sweat rises at the tip of her sharp forehead. Yes she wants to eat him up. ‘What the hell man?’ she asks, he giggles. She don’t find his smile sexy today, not at all. ‘While miss independent it’s true. Your womb will retire while you’re busy gathering money that’ll go to waste afterwards.’

I looked at Paul and concluded he was nuts. Like seriously. Foggy strings raced to my brain, maybe I’m the crazy one. What he was trying to say was not making sense. I mean, she’d already set up her mind, she wrote down raging notes on what she wanted to achieve before she hits 35 and maybe after then,  she’ll find a man to marry or donate to her his sperms.

She wouldn’t mind if he’ll want to marry her or not, I mean she’ll have a bunch of millions under her strap. So why would she nag the poor man after generously offering his sperms? While, it’s our dream, we’ve been sharing it since our childhood and Paul is our felonious gem friend, but today, I got no love for him, not at all.

‘See, it’s the truth. It’s already written in stone tablets. Even if you’re a good in arguing, I promise you, you won’t beat me at this one’ he arrogantly utters, Yes I want to grab this man, throw him in the deep waters of the India Ocean like the missing Malaysian plane or dip him in some deep dark hole he’ll never come off it. Damn, he’s trying to crash our dreams. Dilute our plans. That is way too mean. There are no ways you just come up with colliding words and try to smash the hard work, determination and focus of two women who are ready not to depend on anybody for anything.

He was one of those same men who energized these motions that women are lazy beings that like a queen’s life yet all they do is watch Mexican Alenjedro and Paulina kiss all day and expect a happy ever ending like those soap opera crap. They created these poor laid down trends that all women do is dream all day and wait for their men to provide them with everything even buy them pads.

So Miriam and I decided to shut all these dirty perceptions and basket all those bad vibes placed upon women shoulders on some bins and gracefully do justice to us women. So we’ve been pushing ourselves so hard, so that before 35 knocks, we’ll be there with our millions and live happily after. But now Paul is threatening our soothing zones, he’s all minus and bickering stupid.

‘Call the priest, pour him some holy water, and wash away the rust in his mind. It’s corroding everything’ Miriam tells me. I agree with Miriam, this guy is trying to get on the wrong handle of our dreams. I mean, why is he trying to crash our pretty dreams while, he has seen the entire circus we’ve been through. We sacrificed. We attacked fast life and threw away chances of drugs, alcohol and easy fun.

We haven’t been living the young life, we’re like aged people, working extremely hard to make millions for our future family, see we just want a kid each and of course a happy ending. See, Paul has a ranging hole of negativity in that brain of his, we’re use to him yapping, but today, damn, ‘Oscar Pistorious run, come shot him too I wouldn’t mind’ I dictate. Then he does it again, his long dirty chuckle. I’m starting to really despise this man who has always been a jewel to us, we find his offending character extraordinary.

‘Deep anxiety about the ability to have children later in life plagues many women. But the decline in fertility over the course of a woman’s 30s have been oversold’ he quotes antlantic.com.

 ‘Goodness. Girlfriend, I’m out of words here. The porn addict has coiled away from porn sites and now has decided to cuddle fertility research business? Miriam sarcastically tells me. While, I’m too amused to have a laugh, this is way too serious. 

‘Paul, have you been smoking unseeded kind of weed?’ I ask him.

‘Maybe’ he says between his usual tormenting giggles.

‘Ok, stop playing around mate’ Miriam who is now burning up with so much disgust shouts at him.

‘Hell you know I don’t smoke a thing guys’ he defends himself.

‘Then bury your stupid talk somewhere in your filthy mind, we’re not interested to listen to somebody who wants to dampen our future’ I told him.

“Waah, guys, stop throwing fists and listen because I’m being serious. It’s for your own good. So much trouble I get for caring? Sometimes I hate myself’

One thing I or Miriam can’t stand is when Paul gets emotional. It wrecks one so much. Then you’re left with piles of guilt hanging around your heart like some satanic medals.

‘Ok’ we say in unison and he smiles as usual, he got us at his palms.

‘There’s a story of a successful woman in her 30s who discusses her failure to bear a child, and the grief comes in layers of bitterness and regrets. They gathered that in reliable Time Magazine, Daily mail, Telegraph and many other sites and its researched and proven…..’ he assembles what he’d read earlier from his mind.

‘That a story of just one woman. Unfortunately it happened to her. But it won’t happen to every other woman as you think’ Miriam cuts him short and I nod in agreement.

‘ Hey listen guys, according to the magazine, a generation of women who had waited to start a family was beginning to grabble with the decision, and one media outlet after another was wringing its hands about the steep decline in women’s fertility with age. There are so many researches that second this information. It’ll be a great idea if you guys went to the web and do your research and this time around you’ll have to buy me pizza for enlightening you ’

‘No pizza’ I shout at him as I pluck my mobile phone from my pocket.

I tap to Google and I see all these bunch of results and I get worried. Then I tell myself I’ll get a positive answer in a bit, but hell no, Paul is right, babies born by women in their 30s are very weak and are always prone to diseases. Mostly women after their 30s don’t get the chance to have their own kids but can only adopt. Now that was not for me. I’d love my own to suckle my mammary.

Miriam looks at me with pity eyes but what can I do? I had nothing to do with the research. Guess we both have to recreate those paths of our dreams, more like starting over and hell it really do suck big time.