Men, too, are raped in marriages

By Harold AyodoWhile statistics indicate that more women are reporting being raped by their husbands, and as more women speak out against forced marital sex, Maendeleo ya Wanaume Organisation (MYWO) is also claiming husbands are victims, too.According to MYWO, husbands are also victims, but majority remain silent in fear of social stigma. Gender champion Dr Regina Mwatha and Kasarani MP Elizabeth Ongoro agree, but say their number is fewer compared to women."Some wives have been accused of raping their husbands, but women are more prone to rape as men are often more powerful and tend to wrestle their partners down," Elizabeth says.MYWO champions the rights of men and in a report, claimed that more than 1.5 million men were victims of domestic violence daily. The report stated that husbands were raped, physically assaulted, forced to cook, wash clothes, baby-sit, clean the house and the utensils.MYWO chairman Ndiritu Njoka says the affected husbands found it difficult to report to the authorities for fear of social ridicule."Men who are victims of domestic violence are physically abused in their bedrooms at night and kicked out of the house," Ndiritu said when releasing the report.The husbands surveyed claimed they had little say on issues concerning conjugal rights as their wives determined how and when they should make love.Ndiritu insists that, just like women, husbands stay in the abusive relationships in order to protect their children."At the time of research, we found out that 39 per cent of current and former male politicians are also victims of domestic abuse and violence," Ndiritu says.More than 60 per cent of the women interviewed in 40 districts nationally admitted to having physically abused their husbands, according to MYWO. Consequently, the organisation dismisses the widely held assumption that women were the only victims of domestic violence, arguing they had become the perpetrators of spousal abuse.Bedroom mattersIn Central Province, for instance, 72 per cent of men interviewed claimed they were victims of domestic and physical abuse, according to the report. Other areas that reported high instances of domestic violence on men include Nairobi, Nyanza, Rift Valley and North Eastern — in that order.Nonetheless, men generally do not agree there can be rape in marriage, saying such matters should end in the bedroom. Some argue that wives, as per tradition, become the ‘property’ of men the moment dowry is paid, which gives them the upper hand over conjugal rights.Anthony Mutiso, a businessman, is one such man. He believes the debate over marital rape is an argument from West."I find it un-African to think that rape can exist in marriage. These are thoughts that have been influenced by Western media," Anthony argues. Recently, human rights activists steered a campaign to jolt Parliament to create a law to criminalise forced sex in marriages. In its latest report titled Marital Rape and Its Impact: A Policy Brief for the Kenyan Members of Parliament, 2010, the African Population and Health Research Centre (APHRC), roots for consensual sex in marriage and says that forced sex in marriage is a criminal offence that amounts to rape. Not surprisingly, marital rape is one of the under-reported violent crimes in Kenya because it is socially tolerated. "Some abused women are afraid to report the rape because they rely financially on their husbands for upkeep, maintenance of children or fear the humiliation," the report says.Paradoxically, the Sexual Offences Act of 2006 does not recognise marital rape as a form of sexual violence. However, lawyers may argue that the new Constitution advocates for equality in marriage and an Act of Parliament cannot override a Constitution.According to the Act, sexual offenders are liable to imprisonment for a term of not less than 10 years, which may be enhanced to life. However, it would be difficult to sustain a case of marital rape due to lack of witnesses or evidence of a physical struggle.Interestingly, family law considers rape, physical violence, constant abuse and adultery as the major grounds of divorce.

Men, too, are raped in marriages

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