Margaret Gachagua: Why widows shouldn't lose wealth

The late Nyeri Governor Nderitu Gachagua and his wife Margaret at a past function. [FILE]

You became Nyeri’s First Lady during the tenure of Nderitu Gachagua. How did that role shape your understanding of women’s issues, particularly widows?

I had been working with women and especially the vulnerable in society, including widows, way before I became the First Lady of Nyeri County. I had previously worked in collaboration with the National Aids Control Council helping women living with AIDS who, at the time, were facing severe stigmatisation from the society. Through my experience interacting with them,

I learnt a lot about the predicaments that they go through, including being wrongly judged by the society, always on scrutiny with people following who they interact with.

The biggest monster though for them is being disinherited by the very people who seemed close to them.

Losing your husband while still serving as First Lady is a deeply personal and public experience. How did that moment redefine your identity and purpose?

This was the most difficult phase of my entire life. It had never occurred to me that a day would come when I would lose my husband. I was dazed for roughly two years, was financially crippled and alone. This has really made me value widows.  They are integral members of the society and the treatment they are accorded is really unfair. 

Many widows in Kenya speak of immediate alienation after losing their spouses. Did you encounter any form of this, even at your level of influence?

Everyone acts like they would hold your hand after the demise of your partner. But after the burial, they all leave and you are left alone. It was a difficult period that sunk me into depression. Your married friends start looking at you with suspicion. You come to realise that some people in your family are only interested in manipulating you for their own gain. It is indeed a period where one feels lost and dejected.   

From your experience, what are the most common injustices widows face within their own families?

The most common injustices include alienation from members of the family, being treated as an outsider and being less capable. You will find that people won’t value your opinion but will tend to make decisions for you. Life scrutiny is also unfairly awkward. However, the biggest injustice for widows still remains being disinherited because that is pure thuggery and is silently rampant.

In many communities, widows are treated as outsiders or even blamed for their husbands’ deaths. Why do you think these harmful stereotypes persist?

These stereotypes are purely driven by greed. Through my interaction resolving widows’ conflicting experiences, I have learnt an identical pattern where the widows fall victim to family members, close associates or even cultures that encourage remarrying in the deceased family with the intent of manipulating the widow to extort them. In extreme circumstances, the widow is chased away with her children, which is very disheartening. 

As a commissioner at the National Gender and Equality Commission, how are you actively addressing systemic discrimination against widows?

At the Commission, we provide education to victims, most of whom are unaware of their key rights, including equality and dignity, inheritance and property ownership and continued residency in the matrimonial home.

What gaps exist in Kenyan law regarding protection of widows’ rights, particularly around property and inheritance?

Widows feel that the government should be more proactive in handling their issues. The law is not very clear on situationships like come we stay and customary unions, most of which victims are treated meanly, and with disregard when the family disowns them. 

Can you share a case of widow whose experience deeply moved or changed your approach on advocacy?

During my regular visits, I met a lady in Tetu, Central Kenya, who, after the demise of her husband, the in-laws in Eldoret kicked her out of her matrimonial home where she had spent over 60 years in marriage. In her mid 70s, she had to come back to her late father’s home seeking help. A place where nobody could relate with her. That totally broke my heart.

What are some of the most painful misconceptions society holds about widows?

The most disregard they receive from society is being marginalised and ignored. As a matter of fact, they are treated like people who don’t exist. Nobody thinks of them as productive, which is really sad. 

Widowhood often silences women. How do you empower them to reclaim their voice and dignity?

I think what we should focus on is economic empowerment. People should know that there is a high population of widows. Mind them. Let’s even have a fund for them like we have a fund for the youth. 

What was the biggest challenge you ever faced?

Personally, losing Governor Nderitu Gachagua was the worst ordeal. He was my friend and confidant. I am his second wife but we all lived with respect and harmony. It was devastating. I nursed him to the very last minute. I slept in the same hospital till he took his last breath. It still haunts me to this day.

How did you overcome your situation? 

It was not easy. Life after the demise of my partner was devastating, lonely and miserable. It literally took me five years to get back on my feet. It has been a difficult journey and we have gone through so many tribulations. I had to fall back to my siblings for support.  

Many widows face economic vulnerability after loss. What sustainable solutions are you championing to ensure financial independence?

The government should consider the introduction of monthly stipends to help widows to be financially empowered. These are individuals in society that are battling injustices, alienation and the risk of alienation. They are constantly viewed as outsiders in society whilst at the same time facing public judging and live their lives under societal scrutiny. 

What advice would you give to a woman who has just lost her spouse and is facing hostility from her in-laws?

They should receive better education on their rights. Most don’t know the difference between a death certificate and property succession. These two are very critical. They are related but very different. A widow should be able to further her spouse’s legacy.

What continues to give you strength as you carry both your own experience and that of many other widows?

I do it for my late spouse. Although I was the second wife, I lived with him for 17 years. I am not ready to give up hope. I will continue with this drive especially now that I have the ability and support from the NGEC. We must push and fight for equality for all.