The brilliant personality

By Simon

In a few months, you will be through with your studies and take some deserved rest (a few days or weeks) off books.

Some of you are working hard to pass your KSCE while others are in college working to finalise on your diploma or degree. However, what you will soon realise is that completing your studies is essentially not an end, but a subtle beginning to a new world — the outside world.

In this world, you will get to know how important people and more so friends are. What nobody will ever tell you is that your ability to relate well with the people you meet is what will determine your destiny.

The skill of making and keeping friends is an invaluable art that will get you welcome anywhere. It can deliver the world right into your arms.

The secret to this lies in developing a brilliant personality. The three most critical components of a brilliant personality include your character, communication skills and the critical art of getting people to like you.

Character

In the outside world, people will judge you more by your character. Your character is held in high regard because it is unique to only you and it builds along values or schools of thought, which you hold to be true. In building your character, it is important to consider the norms in society and avoid going to the extremes. Yes, yes, yes, I know all about individualism but remember the world is greater than any one individual.

Character is not built in a day; it takes a lot of practice. A person’s character becomes their lifestyle therefore; it is better to start building it early. Build your character along positive traits such as honesty, integrity, open-mindedness, friendliness, humility and focus. People (friends, employers, businesspeople, relatives etc.) will always want to deal with someone who has a brilliant personality.

Good communication skills

Your handshake, walking style, eye movement, the words and gestures you use, when you remain quiet, arrive late for a meeting — in everything you do or don’t do, you are always communicating something. It is, therefore, important to assess everything you do to ensure that it communicates the right message. Always align your actions to your audience.

For example, a firm handshake is appropriate for potential employers — practice with friends to make sure it is just right. A high-five is okay for your pals in your hood, but is not appropriate for your superiors in the office.

Words are the most effective communication tools and just like any other tool, they require some skill. Everyone knows about the mattock but only skilled artisans know how and where to use it well. Train yourself to be a skilled artisan of words, to always choose the right ones for the right audience. Learn to use the ‘magic words’ and use them often.

Words like please, thank you, sorry and excuse me as well as respectable titles such as Mr, Sir, Mrs, and Madam mean the world to your audience. These words make the other person feel liked, appreciated and respected. These are the feelings you want other people to get when dealing with you.

Getting people to like you

In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie, says that the number one thing that can make people like you is if you develop a genuine interest in them.

He adds that you can make more friends in two days by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Yet this is the thing we are always doing — trying to get others interested in us.

Finally, when you get out there and start meeting people, make it a habit to always remember people’s names. Someone’s name is to that person, the sweetest thing they have ever heard. Whenever someone remembers your name, you feel honoured, appreciated and special.

If you master the art of remembering people’s names, people will have no option but to like you because deep inside, they will know that you have a genuine interest in them.