Burden of breaking bad news

Bad news is a part of life. There is a season to be born and a time to die. To everything, there is a season as Solomon beautifully put it. They say it does not get worse until you have to tell a loved one the devastating news of death, especially if they are unwell. Shocking as it may be to you too, you may have no choice, but to step up and have that difficult conversation.

When sharing the bad news, it will be painful, uncomfortable and sometimes awkward. You have no control over how your ailing father will react once he finds out his son has passed away. A serious illness is a threat to health and stress triggered by bad news can lead to complications. Analyse the situation carefully and consult their doctor just to be sure they can handle the bad news. Considering the sensitive nature of the news, they must be handled with utmost care and preparations made.

Before you deliver the news, you must take care of yourself first. Do not break the news when you are upset. Take a moment to go through the emotions then find yourself. When you can think more clearly, you can finally let the cat out of the bag. Chances are, you will break down again after the reaction of a loved one. Do not be too hard on yourself because you will struggle with your side of the process too.

Finding the right words to say will be tough. Be sincere, talk naturally and try to be as calm as you can. Practice what you will say beforehand. Keep your message simple and clear. This is not the time to beat about the bush.

You must also factor in the state of their mind. Can they handle the devastating news under a ventilator? This will determine the approach. Share the news while seated, hold their hand reassuringly if you must and maintain eye contact. No matter how well you do it expect them to react. They will go through mixed emotions and being the bearer of bad news, you may catch some heat. Do not take it to heart when they lash out at you, but understand where they are coming from. If they need space respect that. If they want to spend more time with you be there for them.