Stopping teenage pregnancies before they happen

Irene Tongoi                       Photo: Standard

BY NANJINIA WAMUSWA

Irene Tongoi had heard of children engaging in sexual relations at a tender age, but never gave it a second thought, until her then ten-year-old daughter’s clique started acting in a suspicious manner. From watching the unfolding melodrama, Irene concluded that there was nothing to stop the children from engaging in untimely sex.

“As a parent who understands the consequences of such behaviour, I sought prompt intervention, not only for the sake of my daughter, but for other pre-teens and teenagers as well,” Irene says.

That was how, in 2002, Irene started talking to children about sexuality. She asked her daughter, Tabitha, to invite some of her friends for the talk, and eight girls aged seven to ten turned up.

First, they listened to gospel music, studied the Bible and had some snacks. Then Irene introduced the subject of sex and associated risks such as unwanted pregnancies, abortions, dropping out of school, HIV and Aids, other sexually transmitted infections, and shattered dreams.

“I had no idea how they would react to the subject, but as we talked, I was encouraged by their feedback,” she says.

Irene explains that girls in this age group have curious minds, and if they lack proper sexual education, mentoring and guidance, they could lose focus. It is unfortunate that many parents are too busy with their careers to discuss matters that could ruin their children’s future.

As the discussions progressed, the girls started opening up to Irene.

She says, “The girls said they had been warned that men were bad. But they wondered how this was possible, yet men were part of their families. I took time to explain male-female relationships and their perils.”

MUTUAL RESPECT

Later, she introduced other topics such as grooming, games, public speaking, respect, leadership, sharing, first aid, counselling, HIV and Aids, relationships with parents and healthy friendships.

When the girls’ parents learned of the meetings, they asked to be involved more directly. They also wanted boys involved, to create mutual respect.

Irene agreed and recruited eight boys from the neighbourhood, some siblings to the girls she had been mentoring. She named her programme New Dawn Children’s Abstinence Programme.

At this point, Irene still met the children in her house, so the parents suggested hosting the group on a rotational basis.

Eleven years down the line, the programme is going strong.

“At 55 and a grandmother, I educate children on matters that parents are afraid to tackle, from boy-girl interactions to homosexuality,” she says.

Currently, there are 250 children enrolled in the programme; 130 girls and 120 boys. They are divided into small groups of eight, nine or ten for easier handling. Each group has a name and meets on particular days of the month. Parents accompany their children, and hold separate meetings.

On the day of this interview, a group of young girls calling themselves Women of Faith are being hosted by a parent, Beverly Wahome. As the facilitator, Miriam Otieno, leads the children to discuss various topics, their parents are in a separate room discussing other issues.

Miriam reveals, “During these discussions, children share secrets they cannot tell their parents.”

Later, the facilitators carry the issues to the parents, who in turn execute remedies as suggested by the children.

Bernardette Kakenyi, a parent, says, “We live in a technological era in which our children easily access sex-related content. The solution is giving them the right information.”

Fathers also attend sessions with their sons.

“Boys learn better in the presence of their fathers, and like outdoor activities,” Irene says.

There are occasional outings, dinners and get-together parties, including father-daughter and mother-son dinners.

“The principle is that girls who get attention from their fathers have little interest or time for boys, and boys who get attention from their mothers have little time for girls, until later in life.”

Girls form groups with female facilitators, while boys have male facilitators “because there are things boys should learn as boys and girls as girls.”

New Dawn employs and retrains facilitators who serve as role models and are central to the delivery of the lessons. The programme has offices in Nairobi and Nakuru, and plans are underway to open branches in Mombasa, Eldoret and Kisumu.

Since its inception, the programme has mentored and graduated more than 3,000 children. Irene hopes to work with the counties and mentor 1,800 children in every country every year.