Toxic friendships: Practical steps to help you thrive beyond bullying

Toxic friendships: Practical steps to help you thrive beyond bullying (Photo: iStock)

Friendships play a vital role in our development, providing connection, support and shared experiences that shape our identity and emotional well-being. However, there's a lesser-discussed reality: sometimes, our closest friends cross invisible lines. When boundaries aren't respected, friendships can become toxic. What starts as a close friendship can spiral into manipulation, betrayal or subtle bullying.

For girls, bullying and peer pressure often manifest differently. Unlike overt physical aggression, these behaviours are often difficult to recognise. Social exclusion is a common tactic, involving being deliberately left out of group events or conversations. Then there's relational aggression, such as spreading rumours, gossiping, or controlling who someone can or cannot be friends with. This is less visible, but no less damaging.

One of the most pervasive modern-day tools for bullying is the internet. Cyberbullying has grown rapidly alongside the popularity of social media. Harmful messages, manipulated photos or harsh comments can be shared widely in seconds and target someone's appearance, lifestyle or choices.

When peer pressure looks like fun

Peer pressure doesn't always come in the form of threats. Sometimes, it hides behind the veil of friendship. Girls may be nudged into risky behaviour like underage drinking, sexting, or even altering their appearance just to "fit in." The desire to belong is powerful, and many young people find themselves saying "yes" when they truly want to say "no."

So, how do we address this?

Build self-worth from the inside out

One of the most powerful tools against bullying and peer pressure is self-esteem. When girls know their worth, they are less likely to seek validation from toxic friendships or online popularity. Celebrate their individuality and let them know that they are enough just as they are.

Create safe spaces to talk

Sometimes, all a girl needs is to be heard. Parents, teachers, and mentors must be approachable. Encourage open, judgment-free conversations about their day-to-day experiences. Make it clear that they can come to you with anything, no matter how small it may seem.

Model respect and kindness

Children learn by watching. Show them how to treat others with empathy and stand up for what's right. Teach them that kindness is a strength, not a weakness.

Teach digital literacy and boundaries

In this information era, it's essential to teach young people how to navigate social media safely. Talk about privacy, consent and the impact of words shared on the internet. Help them draw boundaries with people who make them feel small, even if they are "friends."

Bullying and peer pressure are serious issues that can leave emotional scars that last a lifetime. However, by raising awareness, showing compassion and taking action, we can help a generation of girls to grow up feeling safe, seen and strong both online and offline.