County contest: Mdomo Baggy

Mdomo Baggy

BY CAROLINE NYANGA and Geoffery Korio

Mdomo Baggy

P: Mchongoano?

Mdomo Baggy: Mongolo’s palm is so rough that whenever he touches a computer mouse the memory signals; ‘deadly hardware virus’

P: What does the name Mongolo make you think of?

MB: A confused dude with a hopeless future. Someone so hopeless until the lyrics narudi ocha – ocha constitute his breakfast anthem.?

P: If you were to help him get a date what kind of chick do you think would suit him?

MB: The kind who supplements oil or lotion with Kimbo or bar soap. You know the kind.

P: Back in high school, what kind of student do you think he was?

MB: The lazy and slow students who are given teachers’ writing notes to parents that read; ‘kujieni hii ngunia yenu. Imetushinda’

P: Do you think he can make a county governor?

MB: How now! Hawes make. If he did, Kenyans would amend the Constitution.

 

Mongolo

P: Mchongoano?

Mongolo: Mdomo Baggy is so used to loading Sh5 airtime in his phone that the day he will load a Sh100 card, there will be an alarm warning reading “simu imeiba soo.”

P: Would you curtain raise for him at a public rally?

M: Hell no! I am the government. How can the president bow to his servant?

P: Would you accept to be called Mdomo Baggy?

M: Never ever. That name suggests a person who is chatterbox, which makes him who he is anyway.

P: What is the worst pick up-line he can use on a girl?

M: Kuja hapa msichana. Mimi ni governor wannabe.

P: Back in high school, what kind of mischief would get him into trouble?

M: Noise making, murmuring and complaining all the time.