The king of absurd promises: Ruto's most outrageous pledges

President William Ruto launches the last mile connectivity project accompanied by deputy president Kithure Kindiki in Shinyalu, Kakamega County on January 21, 2025. [PSC, Standard] If there is one thing President William Ruto never runs out of, it's promises-big, bold, and often bordering on the absurd. He has not only mastered the art of roadside declarations but has also displayed boundless creativity when it comes to making grand, theatrical promises that are often detached from reality. This time, the president has outdone himself with a pledge so striking it sounds almost fictional. President Ruto has promised a machine that produces one million chapatis daily. The promise, made during his meet-the-people tour in Mathare on Tuesday, was in response to Nairobi Governor Johnson Sakaja's request for support in his Dishi na County feeding programme for public schools. As expected, the internet had a field day. Social media platforms were flooded with AI-generated jokes and memes of conveyor belts spitting out chapatis at lightning speed, mocking the idea. Ruto's flair for dramatic pledges has become a defining feature of his presidency, and this time, even children have found themselves caught up in his wave of promises. But if Kenyans have learned anything from their president, it's that no promise is too outrageous. After all, this is the same leader who has pledged everything from instant job creation to turning Kenya into a digital superpower. Now, Kenyans are adding mass chapati production to the list of national priorities. "The governor has requested me to buy a chapati-making machine to add chapatis to Dishi ya Nairobi (sic). I will buy you a machine, and the governor should find one that can make one million chapatis," Ruto announced. While still in Mathare, Ruto threw in another promise-turning Mathare's slums into a city. He assured residents that he would ensure Mathare gains city status through the construction of towering social and affordable housing units, alongside the regeneration of Nairobi's polluted rivers. A day after his chapati promise to students at St Teresa Girls Secondary School in Mathare, Nairobi County, the president was back on the road, making more extravagant pledges. Addressing students at PC Kinyanjui Technical Training Institute, Ruto assured them that their Higher Education Loans Board (HELB) money would be deposited into their accounts by Friday. And if it wasn't? They should call him directly. The President of the Republic almost gave out his personal number before deciding to delegate the "minor inconvenience" to Dagoretti South MP John Kiarie. "There was a problem with the HELB board, but I have instructed them to ensure that by Friday, the money is released to the students. If the money is not in your accounts by Friday, call me. I will have to straighten out some people," Ruto promised. This isn't the first time Ruto has led Kenyans on a wild goose chase with his grand pledges. The last-mile internet that never came Remember the last-mile internet connectivity promise? The one where every home and marketplace was supposed to become a Wi-Fi hotspot? Traders were meant to be making calls without ever getting disconnected, basking in the glory of seamless internet access. Well, Kenyans are still waiting. On 29 June 2022, during his election campaign ahead of the August 2022 General Election, Ruto pledged that just as Kenya had implemented the Last Mile Connectivity Programme for electricity, he would ensure last-mile internet connectivity across the country. "The same way we implemented the last mile of electricity, now we will do the last mile of the internet. Tutatumia kila nyumba, kila soko, kila shule, mahali kuna stima ya grind, pia sasa tutaweka last mile (We will connect every house, market, and school with electricity to last-mile internet as well)," he explained. He was adamant that markets would be connected to hotspots, ensuring traders could browse and make calls free of charge without ever being disconnected. "Many people are struggling with buying data bundles... In the market, you won't need bundles to make calls. Just as we build roads to transport goods, we must have a government digital road so that you don't have to pay for access, only for what you use," Ruto said. "Biashara katika masoko yenu, simu utakuwa unapiga free of charge, simu haitakuwa inakatika kwa sababu sasa tutakuwa tumedeploy internet (You will be making calls free of charge at your business in the market, and calls will not be disconnected because we will have deployed internet)," he added. Ruto made this ambitious promise about nationwide internet connectivity during the launch of the Kiambu Hustlers Fund in 2022. He also estimated that the project would require KSh38 billion to provide internet access to every household. Ruto's Grammy bid that shocked the world Late last year, the president made another bold announcement-his government had paid Sh500 million to bid for Kenya to host the Grammys in 2027. The world's premier music awards event, which has only ever been held in the United States. "The money for the Grammys has already been paid. We have already paid KSh500 million, and I'm sure the gentleman from the Grammys can confirm that this is the direction we are heading," Ruto said during a town hall meeting at the Kenyatta International Convention Centre (KICC). The 'Taptengelei dollars' But perhaps the president's most memorable promise-and one Kenyans are unlikely to forget-is his obsession with digital jobs. At one point, it even became content for social media under the phrase 'Taptengelei dollars.' Ruto spoke about the youth tapping on their keyboards and watching dollars rain into their accounts-implying that opportunities in digital spaces could help curb unemployment. "They say that when going into battle, you must approach from both sides, right and left. Why is it so hard for you to tap on your computer here in Taptengeliei and make dollars? You can be in the village working for a company in the US. You just press the computer, go home, and wait for the dollars to flow in," Ruto proclaimed. Ruto's free diaper promise And who could forget the free diapers pledge? During the Kenya Kwanza Women's Charter launch in 2022, Ruto promised that new mothers would receive free diapers for three months post-birth. "Our proposal as Kenya Kwanza is to make it part of the charter to provide pre- and post-natal care for all mothers and children, and mothers will be supplied with diapers for the first three months after birth under the NHIF," he announced at Nyayo Stadium. More than two years later, mothers are still waiting. Ruto's Sh300 gas cylinder pledge In March 2023, Ruto announced that the price of a 6kg gas cylinder would be slashed from KSh2,800 to KSh300 within four months. He assured Kenyans that the price would range from a minimum of KSh300 to a maximum of KSh500, a move aimed at reducing the cost of living. "Currently, a 6kg gas cylinder costs about KSh2,800. With the subsidy, the price will fall to about KSh500 in the next financial year," Ruto promised in 2023. "From June, we will put plans in place to ensure women use clean energy. The first thing we will do is remove the tax on gas. That 8% the government takes will be removed to allow more Kenyans to afford gas," he added. But deep into 2025, the only thing dropping is Kenyans' patience. Baboons, swimming lions, and parliamentary meetings At a UN meeting, Ruto entertained world leaders when he invited them to Kenya to experience 'wild wonders'-including baboons holding parliamentary meetings and swimming lions. "If you think only humans elect members of parliament and have legislative bodies, I invite you to Naivasha to witness the 'baboon parliament,' where baboons meet at a specific time and place to discuss their legislative issues." "And if you have more time, visit Lamu to watch the swimming lions and, finally, experience the whale migration in Tana River." As Ruto continues to make more and more promises, Kenyans can only wait-for the dollars, for the chapatis, for the Wi-Fi, the newborn diapers, and the day one of these pledges finally comes true. Until then, they remain entertained.

The king of absurd promises: Ruto's most outrageous pledges

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