I am in a five-year relationship with someone – we are best friends, childhood sweethearts and ridiculously well-matched. It has honestly been such a perfect relationship.
We often talked about the future and I was always content – until I had to move to Latin America for a six-month work placement. The huge time difference made it a struggle to talk to each other. But we kept going due to how strong our relationship was when I left. Then I met a man who I completely fell for.
I tried really hard to fight the attraction for the majority of the time that I was there – but it was impossible to ignore.
This man and I became best friends during my time away and he knew about my boyfriend. But one thing led to another and a couple of weeks before I left we started to have sex.
It was the most intense and passionate experience of my entire life and he felt the same. However, I do entirely understand how wrong it was. I am now home and back to normality but everything feels different, especially hiding such a big secret from everyone, including my boyfriend.
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I can’t help but try to cling on to my relationship after everything we’ve been through but it feels like it can’t compare to the passion I felt when I was away. I still talk to the man abroad every day and feel lost without him. We talk about how much we miss each other and how incredible everything used to be and how much we wish we could be together.
I really don’t know what to do for the best and it’s occupying every second of my day.
Because it’s forbidden passion, of course it’s exciting. It’s like a movie script and it’s fabulous.
What you have to think about is the cold hard reality of telling your boyfriend it’s over, then packing your bags and moving your life out to Latin America to be with this man.
Have you lived with him? Do you know his annoying habits? Are you well-matched? What would keep you together apart from the passion?
Most of the time, the reality of a relationship is very different to the fling and probably not as good because the affair offered different things.
If you’ve been with someone for five years, that fiery, ripping each other’s clothes off passion does wane. But it doesn’t mean that sex can’t still be great and exciting.
But I don’t think you should be with your boyfriend while you feel like this. Have a break to work out if something is lacking and if it can be fixed or if you do want something else.
And while you’re thinking about the future of your relationship, don’t talk to the guy abroad every day – that’s just going to confuse you even more.