Use little time you have to make world a better place

NAIROBI: Every once in a while we are reminded that outside the din and the pounding cymbals of Kenya’s high octave politics, the tribulations of life continue unabated, continually imposing themselves on us with quiet but determined abandon. Allow me to share how I was reminded of this reality with sobering shock when a close friend lost his wife this week.

The shock of the loss was heightened by the fact that her illness was diagnosed only a month ago, that she had undergone successful surgery in India. Two hours after landing in Kenya, just as the celebrations of her recovery were commencing, she was gone. Speaking with many friends on the issue, they all struggled with initial shock coupled with intense anguish, then anger, then deep questions and finally a quiet and forlorn acceptance when reminded that life and death have no human answers that truly satisfy.

The loss was of course a personal tragedy of momentous proportion to a husband who now has to look after three children without the companionship that marriage makes you accustomed to, children who will go through life without a mother celebrating their lives’ transitions, parents who have to bury their child and relatives and friends who must now accept the reality that their companion is gone, never to return.

But even as we all dealt with this tragedy and struggled with all manner of topsy-turvy emotions, I sought to extract some lessons that would better prepare me, and hopefully you, my reader, for the reality of our soon coming departure from this life. Among the lessons that I have reflected on this week is just how fleeting and transient life is. There is no moment that is guaranteed other the one we are experiencing now. This reality must of necessity change our perspectives on how we spend the moments that life has graciously given us.

We must learn to keep short accounts and avoid the temptation to assume that we can resolve our issues and unclog our lives tomorrow. What can be done, what can be said, should, where humanly possible, be said and done today. That friend I have wanted to call, the relative in hospital I have planned to visit, the child I have wanted to tell I love them; these things must be done now or as soon as is practical, and not lightly postponed to a later time.

The other reality that struck me afresh is that every day I am writing my eulogy. As I sat in the funeral meetings and listened to speaker after speaker extol the virtues of the deceased, I wondered what people would sincerely say if I was the subject.

What was interesting is that the moving stories were not of great national and international accomplishments that we invest so much energy in, but acts of kindness, stories of sacrifice, efforts that defined character. I was also reminded that we don’t have to have position and office to have impact. Life gives us myriad opportunities, many of which we let pass by, to make a difference, and to make life-impacting decisions. As I watched the events of the week, I also realised that many of the things we give our energies to and fret over, matter little in the final analysis. The things that cause us to compromise, to hate, to betray, have little meaning when viewed from the perspective of death. Finally and without being preachy, I realised that we all need to answer the post-death question.

I have profound respect for those that having considered the matter, have concluded that death is the end of it all. What is unfortunate are those who dismissively refuse to deal with the issue and refuse to make their own conclusions. It was heartening to see the celebration by the deceased’s friends and family because we knew she had made a deliberate and, we believe, the right choice in this matter.

There was no panic about what would await her on the other side of life. May this be the story of our lives, that when we finally depart, both our lives and even our deaths will be a cause for true celebration. Fare thee well Mercy, you were a blessing to many.