Talking stage is the most low-value behaviour we have made totally acceptable in this digital age. It is an invention made by men so they can put as little effort as possible into dating and that must be why most women today say they have never been on a proper date or received flowers all their lives.
When I was a teenager in high school talking stages made sense. I had an SMS subscription and I would spend all my holidays chatting with boys I had met in different school functions. Now I am a grown woman, and I have the freedom of movement I never had when I couldn’t leave my parents’ house without a proper explanation, so forgive me because I truly do not understand why anyone would be in a talking stage for more than a month with a person who hasn’t initiated a physical meetup or accepted one at all.
When someone likes you, they ask you out. You don’t go through months of talking over the phone as if you are in different countries. You arrange a date, you dress up and you meet. I don’t know when we replaced dating with talking stages as if they were anything viable. You find people heartbroken and when you ask them what happened they tell you they have been ghosted by someone they were in a talking stage with.
The only acceptable form of interaction between two people who are interested in each other is dating. Dating is not just tied to talking over the phone. It is going for walks on Saturday, going out for drinks on a Friday evening and for dinner on a random Thursday. Dating is dressing up and wearing makeup because you are excited to meet a new person.
The moment you meet someone on the internet you must establish what you want from each other. It could be a relationship or sex and the sooner the first date is done with the better. Especially if you are in the same town, what are you doing talking daily for three months when you could just meet for a cup of coffee or sex if that is the primary objective?
The moment you talk to someone for three months it feels like you have known each other forever and these are the situations that move directly to, “Can you come over to my place” instead of “Can we have lunch?” And then you go over, and you get physical, and you ghost each other, and you repeat that cycle again, and you are left wondering why you have never been on a proper date, or had a proper boyfriend all your life.
As a woman, you have to stop talking to men for entertainment. When you get into an interaction with someone you have to establish what you want from it. If it’s entertainment you want you can continue talking for sport but if you want more you should take the initiative of suggesting a meet-up. If he says no just know you are getting marinated over the phone and he will ask you to come through to his place at his own convenience even though you are at the other end of the phone catching feelings because of telephone conversations. I honestly feel that men invest in talking stages because they want to avoid the expenses of taking you to an actual date and women need to stop falling for that.
Women have to realise that when men approach them, it is not out of pure chance. More so in the world of social media. By the time a man is in a woman’s DMs trying to flirt, he has his eyes set on a prize. Whatever prize that is.
For them the prize is always tangible. Either he wants to be in a serious commitment with you or he’s looking for a prayer partner. And we have another group that likes keeping their options open so they chat up different women at the same time so they never have to spend their weekends alone.