When you own a Mercedes...

The moment you own a Mercedes, ensure you live on the right side of town where kids are too cultured to scratch people’s cars and scribble “wash me” on the windscreen Photo: Courtesy

There is no gentler way of saying this, but the moment you become the owner of a Benz, your status changes. Just like a proper African elder wouldn’t be caught dead smiling at his fifth wife, there are certain things you just don’t do as a proud owner of a Mercedes.

For instance, and this is quite basic, when you own a Benz, that nonsense of walking down the road with a jerrycan because you ran out of fuel is an insult to a whole class of privileged drivers.