Museveni's seventh victory speech imagined

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. [AFP]

Fellow Ugandans, thank you for granting me a seventh term as president of our great country. You've sent a clear message to the cynics that the Pearl of Africa can manage its own destiny.

This victory is not mine alone. It's a triumph for every patriot committed to nationalism and enduring ideals of Pan-Africanism. Busybodies claiming that I've overstayed in office must respect the will of Ugandans. This is our country, and just as we don't dictate to foreigners, we expect mutual respect.