Battle for good marriages will be won or lost in the bedroom

 

 

You must love Dr Kinyanjui Ngang’a, the self-styled motivational speak and life coach. This man is rewriting the narrative on sex and religion and will on Friday, February 3, 2017, host a conference at Kenyatta International Convention Centre on “How to have affairs” and presumably live happily ever after.

The advert piqued my interest and after going to good old Google I discovered that he is a motivational speaker who sometimes takes his conversations to church and church-based organisations. This had me thinking about the church and how time may have come for it to change the sex narrative.

Not yoked by tradition

The last one decade has been interesting for the church — so much change. Church has moved from the being somewhat boring and subdued to being more loud, brazen and colourful.

Unlike in the past we have more women in church, we have more technology, and dance, in church. In my view, the church has decided to flirt and embrace the secular to gain relevance. If in doubt, look at how cassock-wearing clergy have been replaced by bling-decked televangelists who strut the surface like heavy metal rock stars.

Or how church hymns have paved way for lingala-inspired jams and songs with double-edged lyrics like Size 8 and Willy Paul’s Tiga Wana. The new churches not yoked by tradition and dogma have become more adventurous and simply put, more sexy. I do recall the day Mavuno Church posted a rather racy advert on social media to talk about sex — and the heat it generated.

 It is quite daring to title any seminar “How to have affairs” in a country that purports to be 95 per cent Christian. Never mind the fact that mpango wa kango is a part of our widely accepted vocabulary and based on all the whiny needy calls to radio agony aunties and uncles, infidelity is the greatest headache in marriages.

Maybe with a lot of reluctance, we are accepting that the other woman (or women) are an inevitable part of marriage. Pastors being confidantes of many souls are privy to all the shady nooks and crannies that are part of today’s marriages. Maybe they should now realise that throwing Ephesians 5:22 and 23 to the problem is not working anymore.

They should also open their eyes to the fact that promises of heavenly reward for the suffering wives is not cutting it and their flock remains too injured by infidelity. It is interesting how this will pan out because in my view what this ‘life coach and motivational speaker’ is saying (and maybe pastors should now say) is that the battle for a successful marriages will be won or lost in the bedroom.

He cites statistics as he acknowledges that most husbands just like all other males in God’s universe come equipped with a homing ground to test and taste other offerings on God’s good universe. Let us see if our Pastors will borrow from this guy’s script and tell their women flock to layer their gospel armour with a sexual breastplate of trying more risqué things — like anal sex maybe.

Are we are now getting to a new reality in spiritual and faith matters where we may have to accept that affairs and infidelity might not be such deal-breakers after all? Maybe we can look to a near future where pastors will now be telling victims of infidelity to suck it up and get their groove on. This emerging philosophy about sex in our ‘puritanical’ yet randy society will be interesting to watch. I will attend, if nothing else, to hear how anal sex can save a marriage.

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