Virginity is pure and you only get one shot

It is undeniable that young children form a special and vulnerable group in society. Nowhere is this truer than in the context of sex – so much that we often need to protect them by placing limitations on what they do sexually.

Below a certain minimum age, children are at risk of not having the physiological, biological and, most importantly, emotional development to cope with sex, and with many possible consequences of having sex, which includes teenage pregnancy, abortion, parental and societal disapproval, and unsupported parenthood.

Having said that, though, the ongoing debate about the sex consent age is healthy and important in opening up the once unchartered territories of sex education. It’s important to try to raise a kid with good self-esteem, common sense, and the intelligence to realize he's young, and there are sound reasons to wait until one is off age before getting involved in sex.

Let the kids know that virginity if broken is lost forever. Kids aren't stupid. It's completely possible to point out reasons why waiting is better for them without sending the message that "sex is bad". All you do is say, "Sex is natural and part of life, and it's a fine and healthy thing; so it isn't 'bad'". At the same time, there are solid reasons for believing it's better to be a little older.

The debate surrounding the age of consent raises the broader point of the role of the criminal laws. The function of the criminal laws is to preserve public order and decency, not to intervene in the lives of citizens, especially those who have mutually consented to take part in a harmless activity in private.

To accept otherwise would be to disregard the crucial notion of human autonomy and the free will of the individual, which are expressed, regardless of one’s age, each time a person presents his or her consent.

Age of consent, laws are in fact dangerous.They drive underground the very people who should be, and are in need of, receiving contraceptives, advice about safe sex. This is true both of the ‘statutory rapist’ as well as the under-18 consenting ‘victim’, who may worry about having assisted in the commission of a crime.

 Both parties then become real victims as they are put at greater risk of contracting STDs or getting unwanted pregnancies. Reducing the age of consent to 16 will not encourage pedophilia or make sexual exploitation any easier. That is simply a false nightmare scenario propagated by scaremongers.

Many countries have lowered the basic age of consent to as low as 12, 14 and 15 years respectively. All we need to do is to give our children the necessary information and support them to understand their sexuality.

We should share with them the content of the sexual offense bill and explain what it means to consent. Unfortunately, we still perceive talking openly about sex with our children to be a taboo.

The discussion on sex education is muted because we still believe that sex education promotes having sex. Sex education is like a puzzle that needs to be completed. We think that as long as we don’t talk about it, they won’t have sex.

Within our communities, a lot of kids get the wrong messages. People who live in an informal settlement share one room and children sometimes see their parents indulging in the act.

We need to start sensitizing our children about building boundaries, sexual boundaries, and emotional boundaries. But they already get the wrong message about sex by seeing it happen.In addition, children see a lot of sex on television and if we don’t talk to them concerning sex, they get the wrong message.

Adults have to acknowledge that we are sexual beings, and it's normal to have sex and talk about it. When you give your children the right message about sex and its normality, it will be a step in the right direction.