Spencer Okatch and other Valentine’s Day spenders

We were sitting on the couch during KTN Morning Show on Friday the 13th, yesterday, with comedian Eric Omondi and Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore, everyone being rather vague and evasive about their Valentine’s Day plans.

As we inhaled the non-scent of the plastic roses on set (real flowers, like real love, wilts under hot spotlights), the news came in that the fellow who had hired the Sh2.34 million suite at the Villa Rosa Kempinski hotel on Waiyaki Way was an award-winning marketer called Spencer Okatch. For just one night. Tonight! For Valentine’s Day.

So while many smitten mortals will be driving their dates out to scenic places or staying at home to make a special gourmet for the date or writing lousy love poems on SMS (the youth) or drinking cheap white wine (or red, to match the single rose bought on K-Street from a vendor out to make a killing) all the while dressed to kill in red, ‘Sir’ Spencer will be spending Sh2.34 million on Valentine’s.

Caroline Keingati, the Kempinski Marketing Manager, says they received several inquiries and two wait list guests with Okatch booking.

“Time is priceless,” she said, “and the guest gets an enhanced experience with a loved one that they will never forget.”

The unforgettable consists of a butler, private chef, dinner serenade from hired musicians, champagne, bouquet of roses, massage, Jacuzzi and the lavish presidential suite of the Villa Rosa Kempinski hotel.

But the real deal may be the 10.8 diamond carat set of jewellery that comes with the Valentine’s package.

The Standard on Saturday did the math, and if the carat worth is true, then the jewellery alone could be worth around Sh1.5 million, leaving the suite cost at Sh850,000 for the night.

That makes more sense to Spencer – because diamonds are forever – and while not as romantic (who said math cent is meant to be romantic?), is still a sum not to be sneezed at.

As Spencer snoozes Sh100,000 away every hour of Valentine’s Day, he would do well on his billowy pillows to remember the 2008 case of his ‘Mr Valentine’ predecessor Peter Cheruiyot who, at a cost of Sh140,000, hired a chopper to pick and deliver his Valentine, then a lady student at Nazarene University (although Nairobi Aviation would have been apt for the aerial and lofty lovers’ occasion).

Sadly, the two never quite made it the whole hog because, although diamonds are forever – love can be fleeting and flighty, if you’ll pardon the pun.

Unless of course it is 1631 and you are the Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan and your Persian Princess Mumtaz Mahal has just passed in childbirth and you want to build her a mausoleum in which she will lie and be remembered forever.

So you get 20,000 artisans who in 22 years build the Taj Mahal on the southern bank of the Yamuna River. And about 700,000 visitors get to remember his Valentine princess every year. But then she was giving birth to his fourteenth child. A number worth a February 14 style romantic monument – forever love in an exotic mausoleum.

According to an Ipsos opinion poll released yesterday, 64 per cent of Kenyans who might not have a remarkable activity today will point this shortcoming to limited finances. Sixty nine per cent of urban dwellers who are aware of Valentine’s Day indicated this day is important to them.

However, 25 per cent feel this day is not important with 5 per cent being categorical that it is not at all important. The survey was carried out between February 9 and 11, 2015 telephonically with 1,075 respondents living in urban areas in the 47 counties.