Abortion is out of vogue, now Kenyans want to kiss and pray

By JULIE MASIGA

Kenya: Who said Kenyans don’t learn from their mistakes? Even in an age where the fashionable thing to do is “accept and move on”, there is one lesson that this nation of web users will not forget and that is, don’t search for your dirty linen on the Internet.

Well, at least not two years in a row. Last year, we made headlines when the most searched for ‘how to’ item on Google Kenya was ‘abortion’.

 Chivalry was comatose, and it seemed that Kenyan women (and a whole lot of men, no doubt) were looking to pull the plug and abort the mission, bathwater and all. But alas, hope (and embarrassment) springs eternal. We have seen the error of our ways. This year, Kenyans want to get their smooch on.

The number one thing people were interested in, in 2013, was kissing. Followed in second position by praying. And in third by abortion, which managed a podium finish against no odds.

So it was kiss, pray, abort, in that order. Looking at it that way, we’re not too sure that lesson was truly absorbed. But moving on.

 If our Internet searches are anything to go by, 2013 was a year that made us feel all warm and mushy inside. Ranked by popularity, kissing came first, love was fifth, seduction came in at a respectable number nine and romance rounded it all off at a resounding number 10.

Makes you want to reach out and touch somebody, doesn’t it? Well, not so fast. It seems jealousy might have reared its troublesome head at number six, with folks searching for the word ‘hack’.

What’s the point of doing all these online searches if you can’t hack into email and social media accounts to spy on the objects of your attention? No point at all really.

Finally, no Kenyan list would be complete without the mention of money. Strangely, the word ‘invest’ only garnered enough searches to land at number eight. It looks like love got us real good.

Also on the list, were ‘swim’ at a random number four and ‘meditate’ at number seven. Perhaps a spot of relaxation was in order, in a year that has had it’s fair share of challenges. Now that it’s over, why not carry the theme right to the very end and kiss all our troubles away. Here’s to a prosperous 2014. XOXO.