Gender Agenda

At a media workshop in Naro Moru over the weekend, a colleague, Mariam Ahmed of Iqra FM, made a bold statement that I felt encapsulates the genesis of all gender spats. “Men should be men, and women should be women.”

A cryptic statement indeed; but loaded with meaning. Under traditional systems, all communities had set standards of ethics that determined the behaviour of boys, girls, men, women and the elderly.

Each individual knew his or her place in society and related responsibilities. Back then, men were men – they were the heads of households and leaders of the community.

Their primal role was to provide for and protect their families and the community at large. Women, on the other hand, were responsible for nurturing the children, instilling and perpetuating the community’s moral values, and overseeing the smooth running of the home.

shot to hell

To help men and women fulfil their roles and responsibilities, communities had extended support systems that individuals could fall back on.

Spouses could report domestic grievances to the council of elders or religious leaders and recourse given.

Everything was hunky dory, if stories by our parents, grandparents and historical books are anything to go by.

Not any more. With the advent of civilisation and modernisation, these traditional systems have been shot to hell. Many people no longer live and work where they were born. Many are concentrated in towns and cities, living in cosmopolitan estates where neighbours don’t talk to each other.Then there is the education system.

For a long time, the focus in schools has been, and still is on academics. Children are rarely taught the morals that would help them grow into responsible citizens. That responsibility is left to parents who are too busy making ends meet.

When teachers tried to introduce such social education (family life), they were strongly opposed by religious leaders. The result is what we have today - a bulging population from age 60 and below who have no clue what it means to be a real man or woman.

The shift from agriculture to structured commercial enterprises has further complicated gender dynamics. No wonder the levels of gender-based violence (physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and mental) have increased steeply over the decades.

Men who feel emasculated because they do not have the means to provide for and protect their families are either taking it out on the weaker members or absconding altogether.

Women have been forced to go out and seek any form of employment to gain income to support their families. When women have the power to support their families, they demand equal treatment. Again, this is causing conflict.

Divorce rates are high, more men are afraid to marry and traditional values have been taken out of context and are grossly being abused.

tough challenge

So what is the way out if we are to regain gender balance? This is a tough challenge. Obviously we cannot go back to traditional groupings and impose what used to be practised centuries ago.

However, we can strive to go back to the basics, which, by the way, is in our genetic coding. Men must stop shying away from their responsibilities of protecting their families (nuclear and extended), while women must support their men (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, et al) and help them embrace their masculinity.

Only then can harmony be reinstated back into our worlds. The Government also has a responsibility. It should seriously prioritise its resources (fiscal and otherwise) and find ways of creating jobs and fostering a vibrant economic environment that is going to put money in people’s hands.

Government must also re-direct the way in which social security funds, which we all contribute to, are used, so that instead of lining the pockets of individuals through hefty salaries and suspect investment deals, the funds are used for the purpose they were intended for, which is to support the vulnerable until they can get back on their feet.