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Kenyans share hilarious tales of their failed business ventures

UREPORT
By Vincent Kejitan | Jul 6th 2019 | 2 min read
By Vincent Kejitan | July 6th 2019
UREPORT

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and falling over.”

This is according to Virgin Group founder Richard Branson.

Week in week out we see stories of successful businessmen who have built multi-billion empires and they often encourage us that the only thing limiting us is our mindset.

Well, this is true to some extent but also, there are millions of people out there who have tried their luck in business and have been left laughing at themselves.

In Kenya, almost everyone is a ‘hustler’. No one is ever satisfied with the job they are doing or the money they are making.


I once talked to a landlord who owns almost ten flats in Nairobi’s Umoja Estate and he told me ‘maisha ni kukazana’ (life is a struggle). That’s a story for another day.

Recently, one Facebook user asked her friends about business ventures they had attempted and miserably failed and the responses were totally hilarious.

One mentioned that she was so upbeat about selling beef sausages and she knew she would make a kill within no time.

She invested some money into the business and even bought tomatoes, onions and hot and sweet sauce to spice up her sausages.

Long story short, no one used to buy them and she ended up eating some and distributing the rest to friends for free.


Another knew he would make millions from selling quails but after investing heavily, no returns came his way. He simply opened his gate and set them free. “Go ye into the world.”

One campus student knew he had a ready market for inner wears in school and pumped quite a bit of money into the project.

Well, his sales were good for some time but once he finished school, his clientele went down.

He revealed that he has been putting on those boxers since he cleared campus and distributed his collection of panties to his girlfriend. Lifetime supply friends!

A lady only identified as Mary revealed that she started selling watermelons in the estate and after making profits on day one she was optimistic about the business.

However, a neighbour started a similar business and hers just went south.

Since it was January and temperatures were high, Mary sat under a shade and started devouring her melons, piece by piece.

“Healthy living is key!” she encouraged herself.


All in all, do not give up just yet. Trust the process and keep going.

You never know when your breakthrough will come.

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