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How to deal with “Why aren’t you married yet?” question

By Yahoo | Nov 25th 2013 | 3 min read
By Yahoo | November 25th 2013

Adapted from Yahoo News

Whether you’re single and loving it or desperately seeking Mr./Ms. Right, being hounded about your relationship status is annoying. And yet it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation at festive family functions this time of year. In preparation for holiday party season, we asked everyone from social experts to comedians for the best answers to the “Why are you still single?” question.
Save your ego by boosting your questioner’s
“When children ask a disquieting question, adults answer the question with a question. This technique deflects the attention off of you and puts the spotlight on the questioner, and it may work for you, too. Say, ‘What an interesting question. I am curious about how you made your decision to get married to (fill in the name of your questioner’s partner).’ This indicates that you think getting married is a decision, showing that being single isn’t about being a loser but about not having made that decision yet. And as a perk, it may provide the opportunity for an interesting conversation!”
Bait-and-switch your response
“One all-purpose answer for anything rude is to give a big smile and say, ‘Oh, you!’ They will be baffled by it, so use their confusion to change the subject by saying, ‘Now, listen...’ in an urgent tone and going off on something else. Just make it clear to yourself that you don’t even have to acknowledge something stupid has been said, much less answer it.”

Make them wish they hadn’t asked
“Try, ‘Because the doctor tells me that I get enough nagging from my mother already.’”

Inspire jealousy because you’re still single
“The trick is to persuade people that you’re not bothered by their nosy questions. Turn the undercover insult into an opportunity to impress them with responses that display your confidence, self-empowerment and sense of humor. Some ideas are ‘I’m single because I’m waiting for my perfect match, just like you did,’ ‘It takes time to separate the best from the rest,’ or ‘I’m taking my time to make sure I do it right the first time.’”
Shrug it off with a snappy comeback
“My general feeling is that a rude question deserves a rude answer, but a few of my favorite ways to deflect the attention are:

- ‘It gives my mother something to live for.’
- ‘Johnny Depp is taken.’
- ‘Just lucky, I guess.’
- ‘I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those prayer candles from the grocery store.’”

Drop some science on the situation
“Defuse the comment by saying that studies have shown that marrying at a later age increases the odds of the marriage lasting. The younger you are, the more likely it is that you’ll grow in different directions. But when you’re older, you’ve got a better idea of who the person is and that he or she going to stay that way.”
– David Givens, Ph.D., anthropologist and author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship

Smile and move on with savvy
“Don’t flip out if someone hits you with the question. Remember that the holidays are a tense time and people might just be looking for conversation starters. Try to go into these parties, if you have to go, with a good attitude and respond good-naturedly. ‘Thank you for recognizing how high my standards are,’ or ‘No one has been smart enough to ask me yet’ are good responses. Or just say, ‘That’s a good question, I’ve never thought about it before!’ and walk away with a huge smile on your face.”


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