Lack of information on title etiquette results into blunders

A while ago I wrote about telephone etiquette, an article which resulted in such huge feedback that it got me thinking that Kenyans do want to hear more about how people should behave rather than only complain about how they do actually behave. The whole subject of etiquette can be described in several sub-sets.

Other than telephone manners, there is social etiquette, dining etiquette, tipping etiquette, gift giving etiquette, business etiquette, office etiquette, netiqutte – which is how to behave over the internet – and of course, the ultimate queen subject of manners – title etiquette. The most common example of title etiquette is when to use Mister, Miss, Mrs or Ms. The history of these designations is interesting; One expert expounds on what she refers to as ‘Mistory’ a nickname for the history of the genesis of the title "Mistress". The feminine word for "Mister", it is marital status neutral and refers to both married and unmarried women. In Victorian times, "Mistress" was split to distinguish the marital status of women: "Miss" referred to unmarried women and "Mrs" for married women. Many women now prefer to be called "Ms" regardless of their marital status as it is similar to Mr which doesn’t differentiate between single and married men. Note also that Mistress is rarely used today, probably because the term may have a completely different meaning! Lack of information on title etiquette often results in what the more sophisticated may call a ‘faux pas, tres terrible’. In Kenyan speak, we would call it tabia mbaya (bad manners)! Unfortunately those who commit ‘no-no’ examples of title bad manners do so not only from lack of information and mannerisms but often from an inflated ego or a sense of exaggerated grandiose and misplaced arrogance. One of the most important lessons I learned in the Ninth Parliament from former Speaker of the National Assembly, Francis Xavier Ole Kaparo, was that the foremost rule of Parliamentary etiquette for Members of Parliament, is never to refer to oneself as Honourable.