The modern man is a powerless figurehead in his own home

It must be end times and no one is feeling the heat more than men. Men have imaginary powers. They are told they are the heads of the household yet the actual control rests with the woman. Women dictate literally everything that goes on under the roof, inside the bedroom, in the kitchen and all around the life we have built together.

We decide the colour of the floor tiles and the curtains to match it and while we largely know little about cars and other machines, we have a huge say about the car we would like to drive. It has to look like the car that the wife of so and so drives. Usually, we will make sure we bring home a documented guide in the form of photos to lead the buyer.

You see, there are myriad examples highlighting where the power really lies as far as making decisions is concerned. If we do not like our man in a tuxedo suit he has to stop wearing it immediately and feign happiness while adjusting to the changes.

If he has a smooth chin and the woman fancies the beard gang, it is up to him to head to Korea for a hair implant to ensure that she does not veer off to go and play with some random bearded man in the hood to calm our nerves. You see, the rule of thumb is simple, when the woman is not happy, the man is bound to be unhappier. They are therefore duty bound to ensure that they go the full length to ensure that Memsahib is kept smiling even if it causes discomfort.

Many a man has been led in the directions they abhor and made to appear to own the decisions and to market and sell them as originators. Yet, we continue to feed the stream of argument that men are in charge and we have galvanised into several women outfits to demand more powers to be channelled to us to achieve the perfect parity. In truth, the narrative of patriarchy is largely a theoretical concept today that women are tactful not to recognise in public.

Maybe, it is time men realised that their place as head of the family is a hoax that is slowly crystallising and will erupt destructively soon if not addressed.

In real life, titles come with commensurate powers. CEOs call shots and the Pope can set rules for the church, but the modern man is a ceremonial figurehead who cannot even decide to stock peanut butter in his house if the wife fancies Nutella chocolate.