Ruracio: Don't bring all the cows to your in-laws in one sitting

For some reason that we cannot fathom, men from the lakeside can't keep their hands off our girls. This month of June, a tall dark and moneysome son of the lake is bringing some goats to my clan. Earlier this week, he asked yours truly to give him some tips about our dowry process. Here we go.

Our dowry settlement is a process, not an event. Bringing all the required items at once is considered outright rude, if not ostentatious. Despite our elders' love for meat, a man should never take meat as gift to his in-laws. This edict was issued by Gikuyu himself before he breathed his last. By extension, most of the old men from the mountain haven't developed a taste for fish. Actually, some like my uncle still consider fish a relative of the snake and have a strong distaste for them.