Educate Kenyans that violence is totally unacceptable

Gender based violence survivors and stakeholders march in Kisii town during the launch of 16 days of activism against GBV. [File, Standard]

When the society still had a collective conscience, gender-based violence (GBV) would raise an uproar. This menace continues to exist as a painful reality of love gone sour. The fury has turned to resignation and the ominous silence can be misinterpreted as acceptance. It is time to retrace our footsteps - to look deeply into the root causes - and to suggest possible mitigations.

Religion discourages all forms of violence and encourages empathy. Despite having a largely religious population, Kenya still grapples with GBV. It is a serious issue. At least 678 women and girls were murdered by intimate partners between 2016 to 2024. 

Recently, images of a man who was thrown into a ditch by his wife on suspicion of cheating made rounds on social media accompanied by trolling remarks. Few commentators cared about the welfare of the two, or to reflect on the possible motivations of the woman. In another incident, a woman disfigured a man by pouring acid on his face. These incidents left not only physical but also psychological scars.

More recently, a daughter of a prominent Kenyan politician was physically assaulted by her husband. A video that made rounds on the Internet showed a father whose paternal instincts of protection made him intervene. He was seen asking the man why he had often been reported for assault. The dispute arose from a request for breakfast according to the woman. This might suggest that inability to provide for a family can lead to a feeling of hopelessness leading to violence. Such incidents make being in a marriage or a serious relationship lose its allure, especially among young people. 

Socialisation can be seen to unconsciously support GBV, especially through careless remarks made on social media. It is not uncommon to hear some comments that side with the perpetrator, instead of sympathising with the victim. Claims that the abused deserved what they got are often made. It is no secret that religion and culture takes marriages seriously. The society promotes fidelity but places more emphasis on a faithful woman. The men, therefore feel justified to defend their territory mostly due to their ego and emasculation dynamics. The women have also joined in this fury as society has been less tolerant of polygamy. The law has less stringent measures for one who commits a crime under great provocation provided that it is not premeditated. This is what the public has famously labelled as crimes of passion. Passion is often associated with commitment towards a worthy cause and with feel good feelings. This is not the case in GBV. It can be attributed to the need to own another. When a man or woman feels that the partner should be solely theirs, they become insanely jealous. In such a scenario, they can become perpetrators of GBV.

It is time to create awareness that violence is criminal no matter the situation. Our education curriculum should be revised to reflect the modern life realities. Literature is useful in imparting values, giving historical insights, enhancing morality and developing sensitive individuals. Several authors have universal lessons, for example William Shakespeare’s Othello which describes the fatal consequences of unchecked jealousy. Exposure to such literature with timeless universal experiences will develop emotional maturity.

Couples should understand that when nothing is left in a relationship, a mutual understanding to separate will help to avoid regrettable actions.

Dr Chebet is a literature and linguistics scholar. [e-mail]