Motley rally drivers on our roads

By Tony Ngare

Rallying, as a sport, is very popular in Kenya. It has been so since the days of the legendary Joginder Singh and Shekhar Mehta — they who were rumoured to take short cuts through banana plantations in Kisii and Nyeri, and resort to the use of a walking stick as a substitute for a malfunctioning steering wheel.

Many people have fond memories of the rally cars splashing mud on spectators during Easter holidays in the rainy month of April. How things have changed. Easter no longer falls specifically in April and instead of a mean and torturous three-day affair for man and machine, we now have to contend with short rallies that feel more like a mere sprint. Anyway, that was then.

Today, rallying has taken on a not-so-festive feel. In fact, so ordinary is it that every motorist considers himself or herself a part-time rally driver.

If you live in Nairobi and use Valley Road daily, or even occasionally, chances are you have witnessed drivers cruising down the road as if they are being chased by a ball of fire. Virtually every driver, be it a matatu driver, a bus driver or a guy in a sleek German monster, zips down the road with supersonic speed. It is the same case in Mombasa.

On Moi Avenue and Digo Road, drivers zoom like they are in a race against time. Not even ambulances drive this fast when on a life saving mission.

Have you used the Nairobi-Nakuru road lately? If you haven’t, I must warn you to be prepared to race all the way to Nakuru the day you use it. Don’t cheat yourself that it’s your car and you will drive at whatever speed you are comfortable with. It doesn’t work that way on this highway.

If you opt to drive at low speed, fellow motorists will keep on flashing their lights and hooting incessantly, six inches shy of your rear bumper. To save everyone from imminent danger, you have no other alternative but to drive at the high speed that everyone else is driving at. This way there is a natural flow of traffic.

Formula one grand prix

One category of drivers that should be representing Kenya in the Formula One Grand Prix is the drivers who ferry miraa. Now these fellows are bad. They usually drive like they all have multiple life insurance covers and I can bet you this month’s salary that none of them have heard about life cover. Nobody argues with the fact that the intoxicating leaf is perishable, but to cruise on our roads at speeds in excess of 150 kph is to risk the life of other road users.

At 3am, everyone seems to be in a mad rush to beat the cockcrows. Since there are fewer vehicles on the road at that time, everyone assumes that the road is his or hers for the taking. Never mind that it is doubtful anyone out at that hour is sober enough to walk let alone speed on the highway.

A friend suggests many drivers speed at this hour as they are under mounting threat of a beating if not a divorce. So you can understand how a man can attempt to fly home in his car, while wishing time could go backwards. Don’t be caught in his path. If you do you’ll make next week’s obituary pages and make his wife even madder at him!

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