Prezzo Ruto delivers April Fool's day stunt by taking road to ruin

President William Ruto addresses residents in Engineer town, Nyandarua county, during his Mt Kenya region tour, on April 3, 2025. [Kipsang Joseph, Standard] Let me declare upfront that the lengthy monologue produced by Prezzo Bill Ruto on Monday night to kick-start his tour of Mount Kenya was an April Fool's day stunt. Within that context, I will not call him out for misstating facts like Kenyan tea is being sold to Sudan, because it is not, since his government allowed Rapid Support Force (RSF) genocidaires to operate from Nairobi. Neither will I seek to establish the veracity of his claims that his former deputy, Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G, attempted to extort some Sh10b from him or risk becoming a one-term Prezzo. I mean, there are many Kenyans who have determined he will be a one-term Prezzo, and have said as much, without any inducement, financial or otherwise from Riggy G or anybody else. Their common refrain has been Prezzo has been lying to them, even when it's not April 1. As a matter of fact, a clip of Prezzo has been re-circulating online declaring that he'd be asking Kenyans to review his performance in five years' time-now we're at mid-point, and decide whether he'd merit an extension or be sent packing to Sugoi. The truth is that he'd be spoilt for choice where to live, really, since he is a man of means, not to mention that he'd enjoy a generous pension package that comes with a retirement home. A budget line will be provided, of course, on condition that he steers clear of politics, as he has demanded of his predecessors. On that Sh10b question, I don't know what to make of it because Riggy G also made some reference to big monies being set aside for renting crowds during Prezzo's tour of the Mountain. He asked people to accept the cash, roho safi, because it is stolen from them. It is not clear if money exchanged hands during Riggy G's impeachment - some MPs claimed it did - and whose architect was Prezzo Ruto, as many of his lieutenants confirmed they were doing his bidding. So this Sh10b question doesn't seem too far-fetched. We just don't know who had the kitty, between Prezzo Ruto and Riggy G. But that's not my problem. Since both have complicated relationship with the truth - just see how Riggy G gave Murima a wide berth after months of sounding drums of war and dancing himself lame - vowing Prezzo Ruto would not be allowed to set foot there. Honestly, I feel cheated it is a duel that never was. Many Kenyans, too, feel cheated, starting with the Laikipia politician who lamented that she opted not to plait her hair because it'd be covered in dust, necessitating a thorough cleaning. I don't want to speculate if she'll be cleaning her hair if the road is done. That would be trivialising a rather grave issue because the said road was commissioned in January 2022 and some Sh3b set aside for the task, according to then Roads Permanent Secretary Paul Maringa. This week, Prezzo Ruto said he'd ask his Roads PS to look into the issue again. He did not invoke the name of the PS (possibly because he's unsure who is in charge, given the musical chairs at his Cabinet), or even the specifics of what he'd be asking of the PS. Early last year, Prezzo made a similar commitment to look into that very road, claiming it was weighing heavily on his mind. This week, he did not perform his road chant: "Hiyo barabara itoke Nanyuki ifike Rumuruti, ipitie Check Point..." because Kenyans on X have shown him dust thicker than that of Laikipia. The simple truth is that for all the braggadocio that characterised his tour of the Big Mountain, Prezzo Ruto would do well to remember that the Mt Kenya folks, while very independent and reasonable, have much longer memory than the Nanyuki-Rumuruti Road that remains unpaved, three years since its "launch"." And while it's possible to rent crowds at the princely sum of Sh10b by dishing it out directly as Riggy G claims Prezzo Ruto did, or indirectly, by giving it to Riggy G to sambaza, as Prezzo Ruto claims Riggy G asked to, he'd better remember he can only rent, not buy people of the Mount.

Prezzo Ruto delivers April Fool's day stunt by taking road to ruin

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Prezzo Ruto delivers April Fool's day stunt by taking road to ruin

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