Selfish, predatory rides on women backs must stop

The gruesome murder of Sharon Otieno has been discussed, reviewed, and extensively prosecuted in the court of public opinion.

Some have sadly focused almost exclusively on the morality of the young university student. While these may be genuine concerns, the fact remains that no matter how unbecoming Sharon’s conduct may have been, no one has the right to take the life of another – especially in such a ghastly manner.

This must be strongly condemned. Unfortunately, ours is a society where men abuse, rape, or beat up women and then blame them for unbecoming conduct. Many victims of rape have been afraid to report their ordeals simply because they fear facing possible reprisals or being put to task over what may have led to their being attacked.

The consequence is that many women continue to suffer – often silently – in the hands of callous men. What is appalling is that throughout history, many have sought to ride on the woman’s back for selfish ends. Politicians manipulate them for easy votes while preachers find them easy prey for exploitation. While fathers sell them for the highest dowry they can fetch, some husbands have turned them into house slaves.

Professionally, their glass ceiling is much lower than that of men. Many NGOs have been set up with women issues as strategic baits for donor funding. Worst of all, many men treat women as easy play objects that can be purchased, used and dispensed with at will – sometimes, as in the case of Sharon, even killed.

The lingering question is why the woman is so vulnerable to such abuse. I believe that the woman’s greatest strengths are also her greatest weaknesses.

By nature, the woman is most loving. A woman’s love is often total and usually unreserved. When a woman loves, she gives herself fully. This is especially because a woman is very trusting and totally believes in the person she trusts. Combine a woman’s love and her unreserved trust and you have one of the best of God’s creations.

Dangerous men

Yet, it is these virtues that men often exploit to their selfish advantage. With wicked cunning, many men will peddle fake love to unsuspecting women, promising them heaven but in delivering them straight into hell. The worst preys are women desperate for love, company or security. Like moths to a fire, such women run headlong into the arms of dangerous men.

That notwithstanding, women are very patient and extremely strong even in the worst of situations. The burdens and sorrows women carry within relationships for years, no man can bear for a few days. Apart from heavy family chores that they have to attend to, many women endure untold suffering and abuse after they fall prey of deceptive conmen. They are a truly exploited lot. Unfortunately, as women have come to this realisation, many have come up with solutions that have only served to catapult them into yet another vicious circle.

The whole feminist movement has come up with proposals and solutions that have inadvertently got the woman into even deeper problems. In trying to fight for equality, the gender movement has been hijacked by people who in many cases have every other interest except those of the ordinary woman.

That is why the woman continues to be a victim of exploitation in spite of decades of the “empowerment” of the girl child. Granted, the girl has certainly made great progress academically and professionally; but the rates of premarital and extramarital affairs are at their highest and still rising. Whereas in the good old days a majority of the traditional village girls entered marriage as virgins, today it is estimated that more than 20 per cent of university girls – the top cream of our girls – have sponsors.

Their empowerment seems to readily melt in the presence of these sin peddlers.

What is therefore clear is that if we are to save the girl child from male predators, we must change tack. Instead of trying to transform the girls into caricatures of men, who nonetheless are still easy preys to cunning men, we should invest greater effort in equipping our young girls with strong social skills, values, and ethics.

Instead of training our young beauties on how to use morning after pills and availing them easy abortion services, let’s strengthen their capacity to stand up to exploitative men who use and dump them like rubbish. On the other hand, the boy child must be trained to care for rather than abuse their sisters. No other girl should be so brutally murdered by human predators. No.

- The writer is the Presiding Bishop of Christ is the Answer Ministries. [email protected]