Should women make the first move?

Last week I was sharing with my friends on matters to do with relationships and we were discussing about how right it is for women to make the first move. However I was surprised after one of them left us squirming on our seats with our mouths open when he mentioned the new trend where women are on a spree of seducing men in broad daylight.

This habit is most often linked with well to do and educated women who have been brainwashed with western education. To a conservative, this is not culturally accepted and the woman will be subjected to criticism for going against the norms. Are these women right to do so? Furthermore what could be fuelling this trend?

Men who are victims of such experiences describe the ordeal as a taboo and unethical. Take for instance the case of John, a hair dresser in Kisii town who on one occasion was approached by a lady. “I was surprised when the lady asked me out” says John.

He further argues that even though women are speaking out their minds, it is not acceptable. The woman may be assumed to be a ‘slut’ or desperate. Very few men are accommodating to such type of women.

“Very few men will stand these kind of women because for them women have equal chances as men” notes Mark a banker.

According to Mark, the scarce number of men cannot match up with the increasing number of women hence  these ladies who are mostly in their late 20’s and early 30’s do not fear being branded as societal misfits and outcasts in the search of husbands.. These women are so afraid of hitting 40 without being called ‘wife’.

Although activists will demand to voice their cries on grounds that they too have equal rights as men, the society is not ready to accept these trend any time soon. According to Tracy, a lawyer at a local firm, the problem lies with conservative men who are still obeying the ancient law where women were just to be seen but not heard.

“Why victimise women on basis of cultural practices that are long past by time? Men should positively welcome the idea” notes the young lawyer.

She further adds that it is only in civilized societies where women are heard and this trend is not a big deal. According to Tracy, gender discrimination should be wiped out from our society.

The controversial issue still attracts the attention of many although it is wrong to rule out that all women who make the first move have questionable characters. In addition there are successful relationships courtesy of women making the first move.

According to Psychologist Dr. Peter Omae, a psychologist lecture at Kisii University, the vice is becoming a norm due to changing times and women empowerment.

“With changing times and women being brainwashed by western education, women find no problem with taking charge in relationship matters” explains Dr. Omae.

He further says that although the society is rigid and hesitant to adopting to these norm, with time it will be fully embraced in our society.