Losing control

By Malcolm Rex

Fellow grooms, is it just me or do you have a feeling that things are getting a bit tighter on the home front? The little control we seemed to have a while ago is evaporating by the minute.

Gone are the days when our voice of authority echoed throughout the land. Now, even a whisper seems to inspire domestic rebellion. Good grooms, when did the rain start beating us?

In the age of countless relationship gurus, the answers come in fast and furious. Nevertheless, they have not made our situation any better. Ever since our forefather faltered in the famed Garden of Eden by being enticed with a mere fruit, we have found ourselves holding the short end of the stick, and a wet one at that.

What happened to the many sweet nothings we chanted during the dating process? No matter how hard we try, Sweetheart and her comrades still think we have miles to cover in understanding their needs and concerns.

Grooms, have you noticed how the little things we do get on their nerves? Interestingly, these are some of the things that attracted us to each other, or should I say the things that attracted them to us? The funny jokes we used to tell, the silly things we did — they just don’t cut anymore.

Sweetheart, we would be different monsters if we never did these things.

Outdated cliché

There used to be a time when we were said to be the heads of our households. This, again, seems to be such an outdated cliché no one wants to be heard uttering. The increased freedom means that our women can freely express their viewpoints whenever they feel like. Still, all we asked for is being acknowledged as team captains.

Please, don’t burst our bubbles of self-esteem. Make do with the best you have, and that’s us.

Not too much to ask, is it?