Come on, take yourself on a date!

I have a friend who loves herself to bits and knows how to eat life with a big spoon. She is the queen of self-love. My girlfriend, whom we fondly call Abebo, is a believer that a woman must love and treat herself well.

Abebo has taught me a lot about pampering myself. As career mothers, there is a tendency to forget ourselves as we try to juggle our endless roles.

There is so much that fights for our attention, from the children to hubby and work and our needs come last in this hierarchy.

But according to Abebo, it need not be so. A career mama should learn to reward herself by using that money she works so hard for.

Many mothers think that putting their needs first before that of their family is selfish, but that is not the case.

Actually doing so is fundamental for the survival of the rest of the family.

That is why before the plane takes off, the flight attendants always say in case of an emergency, place your oxygen mask first before helping others. The logic is that if you help others before yourself, you will run out of breathe. What’s my point?

As mothers, like my good friend Abebo says, we should learn to show some love to ourselves. One of the ways of expressing this is taking yourself on a date every so often. This may sound foreign and absurd to many career mothers.

The first time Abebo suggested it to me, I dismissed her outrageous suggestion.

“Why would I take myself on a date alone? I am not a lonely desperate woman.”

But now this is a ritual I do religiously every three months. If I had the time, I would do it every month like Abebo does.

So what does one gain by going on a date alone? Well, it has myriad benefits. Taking oneself on a date brings out the girl in you. It is also a time of self-reflection and healing.

As employed mothers, we tend to be caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and we neglect ourselves.

For instance, my life has been quite stressful following the house girl quitting without notice and I needed some time off just to vent and relax.

And what better way to clear my mind than take myself on a nice date in a cozy restaurant?

My friend Abebo taught me that before I go on a date I have to prepare and look the part. Looking the part is a fun process because it involves a visit to the salon to get all doled up, the hair, the nails, the massage and all. And once they are done with you, you come out looking like a star.

So next time you spot me in a nice restaurant all by myself at a corner table having a glass of exotic wine, don’t think I am a lonely, desperate woman yearning for the attention of a man. Far from it. I am just on a date with myself.

The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.