It's raining men

SHIRLEY GENGA gives a first-hand account of the tears and joy on the day when Nigerian Pastor Chris Ojigbani, the self-confessed apostle of marriage, promised the singles that proposals would fall from aboveI had been watching Pastor Chris Ojigbani every night for a week. He was airing his services in Nigeria and Ghana live at 10pm on Kenyan TV. He would show testimonies of women and men who claimed that they had received not one, but some as many as three marriage proposals in one day, after attending the said pastor’s conferences on marriage. Some of the women who testified spoke of getting marriage proposals seconds after leaving the conference. There were also lush, happy weddings — the kind that each girl wants — thrown in for good measure. That is why when word got round that the ‘apostle of marriage’ was coming to Nairobi, for many single women who are searching, all roads led to KICC. Saturday September 4, I woke up excited at the prospect of finally seeing the man who can help a woman get an ‘instant wedding’. I was especially keen on discovering the principles of marriage, which the pastor had emphasised in his sermons. Would he say that women had to remain virgins until marriage, like church people are wont to do? Or would he advise that women be more aggressive in wooing? What tips did he have for nudging the men down the aisle? I was curious. And it turns out that I was not alone because once at Kencom bus station, I joined a throng of women heading to the service. They were women of different ages; some drove in while many walked. Some spoke animatedly with their friends while others trod in silence, anticipation etched in their faces. We would finally learn how to get that elusive proposal — two if you were lucky. crowd went wildThe event was scheduled to start at 4pm, and I arrived at 3.30pm, hoping to be the early bird. But when I got there, the 10,000 seater hall was full to capacity. Many were standing while others just made themselves comfortable on the floor. On sale outside the plenary hall were books by Pastor Chris, I Want To Marry You and Activating the Grace of Marriage. Women were elbowing each other, clamouring for just a copy. Many sat outside to listen to the proceedings. I spoke to Phillip Kanyali, one of the very few men who attended the conference. He claimed that it was not only women who wanted to come and receive the word of God about marriage."I’m 26 years old and I want to learn the principles of marriage. Finding the right woman to marry is getting harder and harder today, and I want to get encouraged," said Phillip.At 4pm, the worship team got the crowd on their feet, singing and dancing to choruses. After praise and worship, the atmosphere felt right. So the man of the moment, a youthful looking Pastor Chris Ojigbani, thrust onto stage looking princely in a white fitting suit. The crowd’s excitement was electric. They cheered wildly. Drawing on the energy, he delivered an hour-and-a-half sermon on the principles of marriage, which he laid down as prayer, and sacrifice — giving to a man anointed by God. He gave a memorable example of a woman who had given him her whole salary in a show of sacrifice. When he declined, she told him not to "stand in the way of her blessing".Then came the moment to give. After the first round of collection, the pastor showed clips of three testimonies, women who had received their miracle proposals after attending his services and had gone on to have colourful weddings thanks to Covenant Singles and Married Ministries. And thus came the second round of giving, where the faithful were asked to fill a form with two parts — prayer requests and financial commitment. Outside, women gave an even bigger sacrifice, with some standing in the rain and determined to ‘touch the hem of the pastor’s garment’. After watching the wedding shows on television, I must confess to a tinge of expectation myself. I would like to have a dream wedding. I wondered: If most people who are single would rather be in a relationship, why are there so many single people out there?The expectant crowd went into a frenzy when, even before the ceremony was over, a woman ran to the front to testify that she had just received a marriage proposal through a text message on her cell phone.If this meeting proved anything it was the fact that there are a lot of expectant, if disgruntled single women. A lot of women who are single today are not single by choice. Women are getting married, in their late 30s, or not getting married at all. harder for successful womenJoyce, who attended the conference and is in her early 40s exclaimed that she did not know that there were so many single people out there.Says she: "There is a need and desperation. That is why you see all these women here today. I mean look at me — I’m over 40, with a successful business, but and I have no children or even a prospective husband. Getting a man to settle down with today, especially if you are a successful woman, is next to impossible. I came for the conference together with my circle of single friends. Of course I don’t have to believe everything that was preached, but I’m glad I came."Sarah Mwikali has a renewed hope for and faith in marriage. She says she can now see prospects of her wedding."I always dreamt that I would be married by 18, but life happened, and now I’m 26 and single. After listening to pastor Chris, I am more hopeful. Men today have become idlers and getting a strong Christian man is hard," says Sarah.While some left with hope in their hearts, some were a little disappointed. Quips Mercy, 27: "I was hoping today was my day. I did not get my proposal, but I will keep expecting."

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