Five common texts we all use and should avoid

"Sasa sweetheart" The moment you see the message you can immediately guess what will follow. Maybe it is the way she starts by calling you sweetheart when you rarely get a 'dear' or maybe it is the fact that she opted to use phone messages instead of WhatsApp. You could argue that she is really missing you and could not wait for you to get online, but then you remember you are the one always initiating the conversations on WhatsApp and even then they mostly end up in blue ticks.

Since she has never called you sweetheart, you have trouble coming up with a response. You could call her sweetheart too but then you would be falling into her trap. So after a few typed and deleted texts, you finally settle on one that you feel does not sound very encouraging.

"Poa sana... mambo". Before you have even had the chance to put down the phone, it beeps again. You let out a chuckle because this is surprising. Normally you have to wait for at least 10 minutes before you get a response from her. This despite the fact that she is online the whole time.

"Aki I need a favor" the message reads confirming your worst fear. She is indeed going down that road. You are now sure what she is going to say next and before you can respond, a second message comes in.

"Aki nisave na 500 ntarudisha next week". Boom!! They never ask for much. It is always something between 500-2000 to be repaid in the next week or at least that's what they say. We all know once you send that money it is never coming back. Raila has a better chance of the presidency in 2022 than you have of getting back your money.

I don't know why ladies assume as a man you should let it slide. And so depending on the type of guy you are, there are various possible outcomes to this scenario. There is the guy who sends the money. He is called sweetheart and he forgets everything or maybe thinks that this is the chance to prove himself. Assumes that once he sends the money he will start getting immediate responses. Woe unto him.

The thank you message itself-if it ever comes- will be 30 minutes later. But then there is the more interesting guy. The sharp one. The moment he saw the initial message he already knew what she wanted and had the perfect excuse. Then there is the corny one. He will just let the message sit for about 5hrs then get back to her with a fake apology claiming to have just seen the message.

"Maze ndo nimeona message hope ulisaidika"- Unfortunately, it is never the case so he will still need a perfect excuse. Some will just ignore the message altogether but the corniest of them all are the ones who capitalize on the situation. They will take the chance to avenge the indifference they have been receiving in the past. He will blatantly tell her that NYAKUNDI SAID NO and will not bother to cover it with an excuse. He may actually go to the extent of sending her a pic of him with some stack of cash. Atta boy. 

Hey ladies, when you borrow cash please don't promise to pay back when you very well know that you don't intend to do so.