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Why social media dates are a big ugly trap

Information shared on social media might not be true (Photo: iStock)

Many times, women have fallen for men they found in these social streets and sighed with relief that they have hit the jackpot. They develop butterflies in their stomachs and even start checking out on Google for the most appealing baby names.

Check for matching outfits, the His & Hers t-shirts and all the best places to go for honeymoon and babymoon, whichever will come first. Because the man she just met is the one she had been praying for.

See, man has all the qualities of a potential husband, or boyfriend. You know we all have different goals in life. Man tells all the lies she wants to hear, he is one any girl would want to introduce to her kamati and take to her mother any time.

Boy looks so well off, so polished, drives an extremely good machine, seductively well trimmed beard, speaks that obese English of the nose, smells nice and hangs out only in high-end restaurants. Don’t forget he has an iPhone. Doesn’t use these cheap Android phones.

Some of such men would be brave enough to state they are married but not ‘seriously married’ (whatever that means!). Some would be married but swear by their grandmothers’ graves that they’re as single as they come. They talk big stories and call themselves entrepreneurs who don’t fancy being employed despite their four degrees and two diplomas.

They are mostly very minimal on social media. And also very selfish with their information. Would share a pic or two of themselves, or with their boys. No girlfriend, no female on their socials apart from their mum or sisters. They would charm you into believing they just like their private life off social media and are busy people who don’t have time to waste on social sites. You will believe them

Well, y’all women get attracted to these men because you see them looking all glam and yummy and sounding wise on social media. He supports Chelsea or Tottenham Hotspurs or the Great Manchester City. Doesn’t do dirty politics like the ‘ordinary’ men. Supports feminism and never says those mean things about women.

He has a dramatic (I don’t know why they all say this about their baby mamas) baby mama but he supports his child.

It’s a trap, sister Mary! It’s a big, ugly trap!

What you don’t know is that most of such men are living off their women’s purses. Wife or girlfriend, they entirely are being kept by the women in their lives and they badly simp behind the scenes to remain kept, loved and relevant.

Those date nights you see them on in the photos are proudly sponsored and paid for by their women whom they hide like bhang.

The trips, staycations and vacations are funded by the other gender. Those businesses they brag about and the cars they drive are owned by the girls. These polished men are kept but you’ll hardly guess. Some of them who are married (but single) and whom you might have the chance to know their wives from a distance, will be so careful they would take an Oscar for the best husband in these sides of Africa.

Also their women are mostly book smart but not street smart. They’ll make it look like theirs are the most romantic and caring men who would spend their last dime on them. They don’t mention the careless philandering and the months they stay without conjugals and they neither hint that they are the ones who clear all bills.

Now you’re there wondering why this man isn’t taking you to those posh places, road trips and staycations that he talks about. Kumbe jamaa is a simp backdoor and is simply checking out to see if you can as well spend on him and keep him.

You expect him to spoil you but instead he wants to come and spend at your place, stretching his scaly legs on your couch and wrapping arms around you with his hairy armpits. You wait to be taken on holiday but your guy is wondering why you don’t pay bills at dates when you actually drive a good car and have a well-paying job.

Don’t celebrate yet and start checking out on your tailor on the latest fabric they have. Don’t get yourself off the market because of such a kept man. Don’t also work so hard wanting to snatch him from his wife whom you think doesn’t deserve such a ‘good man’. She is the boss, ma’am. Its a raw deal. Very raw

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