Sostine Lewa had undergone genital surgery to assign her gender by the time she turned one-year-old.
This filled her childhood memories with confusion as she felt different from girls of her age as she grew up in Chasimba village in Kilifi county.
Sostine, aged 31, was born with both male and female sex organs. Shortly after her birth, her parents and doctors made the decision to assign her the female gender. As part of this decision, her penis and testicles were surgically removed to establish her gender identity. However, Sostine now expresses a desire that her genitals should have remained intact until she was old enough to give consent for surgery.
"My parents wanted a girl because they had five boys and three girls. They did not disclose information about my sex, and I was raised as a girl," Sostine says.
Sostine identifies as intersex, signifying that she was born with a range of natural variations in sex characteristics that do not conform to the typical definitions of male or female.
It encompasses sexual anatomy, reproductive organs, and chromosome patterns that do not fit conventional definitions of male or female.
While growing up as a girl, Sostine felt distinct from other girls her age. She never menstruated, and the absence of her mother since the age of three left her without someone to share her experiences.
"I was labelled as a girl. I wanted to be a girl and fit in, but it was difficult. I played with boys and got along well with them," she recalls. She further adds, "My niece used to ask me, 'Auntie, teach me how to wear a sanitary towel', and I kept wondering because I didn't even know what sanitary pads were since I never experienced menstruation."
Sostine discovered she was intersex during an awareness conference in Mombasa at the age of 27. This revelation came as a breakthrough for someone who had struggled to fit in for many years.
"I used to work at Rainbow Kenya, and because I had shared my story with my boss, he invited me to an intersex awareness conference," says Sostine.
After the conference, she returned home stressed and confused. Sostine called for an emergency family meeting and asked her father to reveal the truth about her childhood surgery.
"I wanted my father to confirm what happened. He cried on that particular day, and he confirmed to me that I was born intersex, but because they saw it as a curse, they opted for the corrective surgery," says Sostine.
Sostine acknowledges that the revelation strained her relationship with her father, but they reconciled after two months as the reality sank in. She expresses that she felt a sense of freedom when she discovered the truth.
"It took me a while to come to terms with the revelation, but then I understood-everything made sense to me. I understood who I was," says Sostine.
She shares that she has faced victimisation from some of her family members. "Only my father and my siblings have accepted me, but my aunts and uncles rejected me, saying I should behave as a girl and find a husband because I was raised as a girl," she says.
Sostine now feels that her parents deprived her of a lifetime opportunity by choosing her gender instead of letting things unfold naturally.
Growing population
According to the 2019 Kenya national population and housing census data, Kenya is home to 1,524 intersex persons. There have been protests from intersex individuals decrying early mutilation to "correct" gender, which leaves them with permanent scars.
Sostine is now a member of the Intersex Rights Initiative Coast, a new organisation focused on creating awareness about intersex people. She hopes that society will one day understand and accept intersex persons for who they are.
Children born with visible variations in their sexual organs, like Sostine, often undergo painful and irreversible surgeries to give them the appearance of the male or female gender, according to the Kenya Legal Ethical Issues Network (KELIN).
Culturally, a simple variation of the two sexes runs deep, and many doctors say they have nothing to do about it.
For the sake of the children, sometimes 'corrective' surgeries are deemed necessary to make intersex children look more typically female or male. However, even for those who do not undergo corrective surgery, the stigma remains a daily burden.
Delphine Arunga, 68, shares that she has endured considerable hardships in her life as an intersex person. Arunga's first husband, she says, divorced her instantly upon learning about her intersex status.
The divorce was so dramatic that she almost gave up on life altogether.
"It seemed like a blessing when I got married some 45 years ago. We agreed to retire to bed, and when I took off my clothes, the man literally ran away and told his mother that I was abnormal. I was instantly chased away from the home," she recounts. "I have never been heartbroken. I asked God to intervene because I longed to marry like other women do. Unfortunately, the journey to marriage had started on a wrong footing, especially after earning the tag of a bad omen in society."
Arunga, a mother of 12 from Eregi in Ikolomani constituency, was born as an intersex person, a condition that subjected her to stigma while growing up as people couldn't determine her sex.
She never expected a man to show interest in her after the first experience until the day she met a man from the neighboring Shinyalu sub-county who confessed his admiration and love for her.
To avoid any embarrassment, Arunga decided to open up to him about her sexual orientation. "He listened carefully as I explained everything; to my surprise, he declared that he had made up his mind to be with me since the day he first set eyes on me. It must have been God's work," she says.
They eventually got married and were blessed with 12 children. Arunga and her husband lived happily until her guarded secret leaked out to her co-wives, who used it against her.
Her husband's parents were shocked upon learning that their daughter-in-law was intersex and asked their son to chase Arunga away.
"My husband, who died a couple of years ago, ignored his parents and opted to buy a parcel of land in Ikolomani, where we moved and continued to live happily."
At one point, Arunga was tempted to ask her husband to explain the reason for his undying love for her, and he said, "he could not afford to lose me because I was courageous, determined, and hardworking. Besides, he was categorical that it was not my mistake to be born intersex. I was touched by his affection even during the most difficult moments," she says.
Out of her 12 children, only one turned out to be intersex. She has also adopted an intersex child who was experiencing stigma from her family members.
"I adopted him after he was abandoned by his parents. I think no child deserves such treatment on what he or she has no control over," says Arunga.
Hannel Chivatsi, director of Intersex Rights Initiative Coast, says she came up with the initiative to deal with the challenges of the intersex people.
She says her vision is to create a self-sustaining generation of intersex community and asrrest any form of discrimination.
- Additional reporting by Bernard Lusigi
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