Season to be jolly and sharing with those in real need

Nakuru residents at Sarova Woodlands Hotel during the traditional cake mixing ceremony that dates back to the 17th century. [Kipsang Joseph, Standard]

‘Tis the season to be jolly but if the nostalgic thoughts are not arrested early, it can quickly turn into the season of folly.

The holidays carry different meanings for different people – for some, it is an opportunity to put down the preceding year and bask in the slow pace of upcountry life for a while.

For others, it’s business as usual – for people working in the service industry and essential services, there’s scarcely a difference between holidays other than a prime opportunity to make extra money.

For others, the holidays are a reminder of what’s missing – a loved one lost over the year, a life audit yielding opposing results from New Year’s resolutions, alien traditions in foreign lands – whatever the case, the holidays are synonymous with emotional gymnastics.

The most severe case of emotional sickness I ever suffered was Christmas overseas as an international student. I just couldn’t comprehend the blatant absence of roast goat meat, the absence of family members to discover new destinations as was our tradition.

And therein lay the key to my suffering – had I shifted my focus instead to embrace new traditions early, I would have salvaged one or two Christmases from ending in tears.

Kris Kringle would have replaced long road trips to undiscovered destinations, gathering with friends a solid option in the absence of family.

The beautiful thing about traditions is that it started with one person and spread like wildfire.

This is the reminder I offer to each of us this holiday season – rather than taking stock of all that went wrong this year, let’s take the driver’s seat over our lives and write in new traditions, with new people in new places.

May the joy that comes from giving, attack you this season – seek out a person with less than you, share a meal with them. Sharing a kind gesture with someone who needs it is like a salve for the spirit – and a definite antidote to self-pity.

Put the screens down and limit consumption of other people’s highlights on social media – look up and connect with the life around that is happening right now; have a conversation with a stranger – either option offers infinitely better feelings than being subconsciously coerced to keep up with the Joneses.

And if you are navigating the holidays with young children who operate on their own schedule and whose respect for your Christmas decorations is nonexistent, point me in the direction of our collective support group, I may have missed some sessions.

I truly wish each one of you a wonderful holiday season, may your days be filled with exactly what you envision. Thank you for keeping me company on this column week after week.

-The writer is a lawyer and podcaster